HEY there... you two readers who MIGHT still be checking in intermittently

Chris says to me, "What's going on with your blog? You need to update, or remove it, or something. You sound like you're begging for money in the last post..."

And that was in December. So, I'll give you the quick QUICK update since then. Four months have past. And I've raised almost $3,000 which I will pay for my HolyYoga license!!! I am registered to begin classes in less than a month. After nine weeks of webinar/ conference call learning (20 hours a week study time/ mat time) I will be going to St. Paul, MN for a five day immersion. Yoga. All. Day. Long. (Sounds lovely right now... but then, I'm sure I'll be a tensed up ball of nerve and exhaustion) 

I have been abundantly blessed by people giving. Abundantly. It is such an awesome thing to just step out on faith and believe that God will do what he says he will do. He put this desire in my spirit and I knew it would all work out.

With that, Camille has been off the boob for a week now. One whole week, at nineteen months old, sans ninnie. She's done surprisingly well. I went down to twice a day feedings, nap and bedtime and she really didn't loose her mind like I anticipated. She still asks, and shakes her head "no" as she points, knowing I will say no.  It's been harder on me I think, but I know I have to do this now--- to make things easier later.

She keeps me busy. And exhausted. We go to our new and improved neighborhood park often. It opened mid-March. We are members to the Discovery Science Place in downtown Tyler, only a mile or so away AND the Tyler zoo. Oh, motherhood. We have lots to do these days!!

Dallas Arboretum, April 2015

Tonight Camille is spending her first night away from home with her Aunt Chrissy and Uncle Jeremiah in Athens- about an hour away. (Thus the TIME to write...) Although, this is hardly blog-worthy, just a touching  base, if anyone is wondering What Happened!!

She has become a better napper, going down to one a day- but at least it's usually two hours or so and I can DO something. Which right now is usually yoga or yoga reading....

Chris is working on his jeep and I am writing and reading. Not much of a date night, having time without Camille. So, I'll keep it short. We are taking the motorcycle out soon for burgers and a stop by the tattoo parlor. Cause I'm a class act like that- if you ever doubted!!

Holy Yoga Journey

$3,000

That is what is keeping me away from going forward this this thing that I deeply feel that I've been called to.
Well, that and a nursing toddler... I need to wean my child before I can go on a weeklong immersion in Arizona....

I went on a Holy Yoga retreat weekend (Jesus at the Core) in January 2013. The thing is, I was already pregnant at that retreat, I just didn't know it... So, all that I enjoyed and loved and really wanted to pursue was put on hold. So, here we are two years later and I still keep thinking about my experience and how I really might actually feel called to do this thing.

The training includes a 9-week webinar training that is two hours once a week, followed by a week-long retreat in Arizona. No kids. No spouses. And it's $2,895 plus the cost of the flight. People, I don't even have enough money for Christmas gifts this year.  I've got Camille a copy of Goodnight Moon under the tree and that's it. (Seriously, what kind of house is this without Goodnight Moon?? I think we all assumed someone else would buy it, or someone else had bought it, all the while my fifteen month old has never heard that Margaret Wise Brown classic. Horrors!)
And wouldn't that money be better spent on getting Chris a vehicle that runs?

Chris is still teaching math and holding down a job that he does not like. Boo.
AND, we are now leading worship at Calvary Baptist Church... praying about a part-time staff position. Which would basically pay the rent....

Sigh.

And Holy Yoga. So many people have these negative, preconceived notions. I wonder if it would be an uphill battle trying to convince people, "it's OKAY y'all"

Chris asked me if I wanted to do this to make money. And the answer to that is, "not really." I mean yes, with a yoga certification I could teach yoga anywhere. But more than that I see it as my ministry. A way to teach to bring edification and love and Jesus to people who are hurting.

So that's where I am with it all... I haven't put down a deposit. I haven't scheduled an interview. I don't know how I can take a two hour call once a week with a toddler. And I don't know who I can leave that daughter for a week since she still nurses.

But I want to be obedient. And if it's what God wants, it'll happen. In His time.

Three Chambers in New York

Camille in NYC, Oct 2014

(First, I'd like to thank whoever prayed for my daughter to get a good nights rest last night. She went to bed at 7:15pm and only woke at 3:30am to nurse! And, she didn't get up for the day until 6:30am! AND she's napping right now!!! Has been for over an hour!!!) 

...

Our week long trip to New York went very well, better than expected in most ways. Camille did amazing on the four hour flight and wasn't that very-worst-child-you've-ever-experienced-on-a-plane. She was actually her cheery, engaging, flirty self. AND even though I'm glad I had books and toys and snacks and a special buckle toy made JUST for this flight, and an iPad with baby interactive games and child headphones I borrowed... she really just wanted to people watch, occasionally look out the window, and play with the TV screen on the back of the headrest in front of our seat. 

She slept very little on the way to NY, and crashed the moment we got on the plane for our return trip. Unfortunately, we sat waiting to take off FOR AN HOUR, but she napped about two hours in my arms nonetheless. She didn't understand why she couldn't sit in the floor during turbulence and HAD to sit in my arms, but she got over it. 

I really don't know what we did for four hours. Some sleeping yes, but mostly it was five minutes of this book, four minutes of that music, ten minutes of snacking, two minutes of window watching.... all adding up to one flight.

Little Ladybug in Times Square

Going to New York with Camille was a little difficult, and not in the way one might expect. For me, it made me miss my old life. I had five years in the city. I had a rhythm. I had my life down, my city life.  With Camille in tow I knew it would be difficult to DO NYC like I would normally DO NYC. But, really it was just impossible. No journaling in tiny coffee shops. No visiting the farmers market daily. None of the little restaurants that I'd longed to visit again. No Sokerbit!! Hauling her around and taking everything we might need for the day was just exhausting. By day two, I realized a mid-day trip back to the apartment for napping was necessary. 

But, I changed my attitude and did what I could. We are grateful for this girl. She brings us such joy and LIFE into our home. 

We got bagels at Essabagel one morning. Camille and I played on the playground at the park in our old neighborhood, the park where I used to volunteer and clean out flowerbeds.  We visited Times Square on Halloween and Central Park at dusk. Camille danced on the BIG piano at FAO Schwarz and watched ice skaters at Bryant Park. It was a good trip. But mainly because we got to see so many of the people we love and miss. Honestly, we spent almost more time in friends apartments or catching up somewhere for lunch. 

And that's really why we went. Yes, to see NY, but more-so to introduce Camille to our friends and to spend time with them. I went to the weekly women's bible study at our old church, Trinity Baptist Church, New York and even attended choir rehearsal- just to see familiar faces and listen in. 

...

In alot of ways it feels like a lifetime ago, NYC. Maybe that's just what having Camille around has done. Even if there weren't NYC, I'd have trouble remembering my life before her. I do mourn those days- up early out late. Doing what I want to. Skipping a meal. Eating cupcakes for breakfast. My size 4 pencil skirts and 3" heels have been replaced by Adidas and yoga pants.

It's not right or wrong, it's just different. And this is the season of nursing babies and stretching a dollar and meals in crockpots and going to bed early after watching Parenthood on Instant Netflix. 

Anyway, New York City was good. I don't think I want to move back there. Not with little ones. Not into Manhattan. It's too fast and edgy and young. Like I was back then. 

View from my cousin's mid-town apartment where we stayed