The End

"For you have made me rejoice, Lord, by what you have done; I will shout for joy because of the works of your hands." Psalm 92:4

Click HERE to see our year in Photos

and click on "2010 in Review- Chambers Style"

This was the fist calendar year that I had a full-time job the entire year. I was an employee for 2010. I earned a paycheck and got vacation and even a holiday bonus!

Speaking of, in July a great friend started working alongside me. Literally, we work side by side eight hours a day. It's such a blessing. Love her. Love my job. Love it!

I got a massive tattoo & another not so massive tattoo...

My sister was hospitalized, again, which broke my heart and left me and my family crushed. But God is faithful and she (and we...) are working through it. Day by day.

I got my second piece published in Chicken Soup for the Soul.

I turned the big Three Oh!!! It was uneventful, well I cried. And felt old. I've felt really old this year. I guess that whole immortality thing has sort of set in, along with the ticking of the biological clock. Noticeable wrinkles. Gray hairs. Extra skin. And the girls that my husband does double takes at look like they are nineteen. They are no longer in the same "age bracket" as me. I'm not 19-24 or 25-29. I'm 30-40 which is such a big bracket!

Speaking of, I'm off birth control for the first time in eleven years. Yikes!

Tried yoga for the first time ever & signed up for six months. (Now it is too cold to schlep through ice, snow, wind and rain, so it's back on the treadmill.)

Helped encourage, support, feed and love a friend who's baby was born four months early. I actually got to see him before his mother did.

Skied for the second time in my life- Lake Tahoe. I felt like it was a success.

Visited Texas three times to see my family and my closest friends- The Stockhammers. AND...

Lora made it to NYC to visit me! (Yes, this makes the highlights of the year list!!)

Posed as a hair model in a women's magazine.

Ran my first half marathon- and started running for enjoyment/ exercise/ an outlet

Cooked sea scollop, lobster, and mussels for the first time-- (okay, so that was more Chris's initiative than mine, but still.)

"I will reflect on all you have done and meditate on your actions. God, your way is holy. What god is like God? You are the God who works wonders, you reveal your strength among the peoples." Psalm 77:12-14

The Big One

Crossing Park Avenue the day after the big blizzard hit, Dec. 26th.

It was sort of a big free for all. No cars in sight. Well, except that one.

Saint Bart's

One of the many bulldozers around Rockefeller Center

Chris in front of massive mound of bulldozed snow.

It was really cold. I couldn't feel my toes!

Wrapping Up 2010

I realized it's been quite some time since I've written so, I just wanted to check in. I find myself with nothing but time & nothing to fill it with right now.

I'm working on December 23rd and it is, as expected, quiet around here. I've read two book excerpts this morning, which I had been saving for such an opportunity as this. Two non-fiction pieces including: the first two chapters of Girlbomb and a short story from David Sedaris's book Santaland Diaries. Nothing like reading some great non-fiction to get me in the writing mood.

I've listened to my Elf Soundtrack and have now moved on to Harry Connick Jr.s' When My Heart Finds Christmas. I've even played a few rounds of Angry Birds, which I'm sad to admit I've slowly become addicted to. However, I have not been successful at beating the current level I'm stuck on this morning. And since I've discovered Angry Birds Seasons... forget about it. I have been staying up late into the night playing this game. Not reading. Not engrossed in a movie, but playing this silly game on my android phone. Chris has told me that Angry Birds is not a real video game, (Whew... I was worried!). And he's also threatened to take the game off my phone if I blurted out, "Die! Die!" one more time. I can see his point.

While seeking to avoid the mounds of holiday treats that continue to spill into our office daily from vendors, contractors and clients- I've been thinking about what I want to set out to accomplish in 2011. While I'm competitive, hard headed, reliable, dedicated and an overachiever- sometimes I'm not so great at setting goals. If I set a goal I have to be honest with myself about where I'm at currently. I have to admit to myself that in order to get to Point B, or even Point C--- that I am only at Point A.

For example, it took me years to come up with a simple plan for my finances. I had accumulated a little debt, but because I never wanted to be honest with myself and I wasn't proud of where I was, I just ignored it. I didn't want to face the truth - even though without being transparent I could never set a plan in place, much less be free of the burden. I just remained ignorant and didn't have to deal with it.

Same thing with writing. Or journaling. Or reading. These are things I love to do, but don't set aside time to do. So, in 2011 I'm going to be honest with myself so that where I need to change I will.

For instance, I want to read ALOT more in 2011. So, I've collected three books from the library to spend some time with next week while I'm off work and I've requested one more. Exciting NY life I lead, I know!

In addition to reading, I want to get a few other things done over the Dec. 24- Jan. 2 break that Chris and I will have.

1. I want to cut my hair. Or trim it. Or color it. But people says, "No. It looks fine." But I'm bored, and everyone else is always doing things to their hair! So, a lady at work tells me, "Wear pink lipstick instead of red. Viola. Change! Your a beautiful girl, don't mess with your hair." Gee Whiz.

2. Do some winter "getting rid of stuff." I read on a friends blog that her goal was to purge 100 items from her home during her Christmas break. I like the idea. I may not have 100 items like a typical East Texas home might, but I can find 50 things that I don't need, right?

3. Spend LESS time in the kitchen! As much as I love to cook, I want to spend less time in there over the next ten days. A culinary sabbatical if you will. I'm sure Chris and I will bake some fish or make a huge breakfast one morning, but overall, I want to not be cooking all break. (But I do love to cook!) Speaking of, I got my recipes all in order in a beautiful binder my mom gave me when I was in Texas for Thanksgiving. And then, my sister spent countless hours typing up all mom's recipes and emailed them to me. So, after I organized, sorted and rearranged, I have all my childhood recipes and favorites all in one place. It makes me so happy because I've wanted something like this for quite some time.

4. Go buy Chris a new reversible belt and some new Tommy Hilfiger boxers (it's a long story-- a blog in itself really, the story of Chris and his underwear, but I'll spare you the details now). Chris and Tommy Hilfiger have been together longer than Chris and Stefani. And trust me-- he'll only wear Tommy, I've tried.

5. Go see a movie. (If you know me, you know, this is HUGE) I really want to see Black Swan, so I think I will just go see it.

6. Finally decide on a photo to send into Canvas on Demand to utilize my gift card!

7. And possibly... give painting a whirl. My sister recently started painting- although both of my sisters are much better artists than I am. They paint, draw, sketch beautifully. I can't do that, so I write. BUT, my youngest sister has done two really nice pieces that I got to see over Thanksgiving, and after talking with her, I think I will see just what I can do. I'm too intimidated and afraid I'll mess up- which I've got to get over!

I hope to be posting over the holiday break- but Merry Christmas to you all! (As Liz Lemon says on 30 Rock- "We don't say Happy Holidays. That is what terrorist say.") Actually, I'm just Christian, from the South, and little ignorant and alot proud so I say, Merry Christmas. Like I did on the phone this morning to a client I'm 100% sure is a practicing Jew. (True Story. Whoops!)

XO

Three Little Monkeys

So, I''m just a little late in posting pictures from my Thanksgiving trip back to Texas, but here is the cutest kid the world, Miss Tessa.

Isn't she adorable?! I loved getting to spend an entire day with her playing, reading, swinging, dancing & jumping on the bed. My friend Lora, her mom, was at work so Tessa probably got away with stuff that she may no normally.

Like jumping on the bed. I'm not really sure if this is "no-no" or not, but we loved it. And I immediately remembered the lively jumping on the bed tune, "Three little monkeys jumping on the bed..." It's weird how things like that just come back to you. I've often been afraid that I've forgotten all the words to all the childhood nursery rhymes and songs that I sang as a child. This is NOT the case. They came right back to me when I needed them most. Which is reassuring to know.

Anyway, Tessa and I played in makeup, jumped on the bed and somehow allowed Heidi, the ten-year old cocker spaniel, to eat a red Crayola. Whoops!

Anyway, isn't she the cutest thing ever? She is one sassy gal.

Tessa Sophie

Thanksgiving in Texas

stef & jonathan - my 13 year-old brother

Me & My Sisters

Stalker

While digging around in the photo folders on my computer- organizing, rearranging and moving- I found this image I captured in Austria almost two years ago while visiting our dear friends the Stockhammers. I filed this one in the Stalking the Locals folder.

While I tend to be more of a scenes and images and inanimate objects type of photographer, I love getting photos of people who don't know that I'm photographing them. Is that creepy? Well, it's what I do, and realize that it is a little stalker-like.

I love nuns. In high school we did a One Act Play, Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? and I played a nameless nun, you know, like Sister #2. I had so few lines there was no need to even name the character that I was portraying. This was the year before I was given no part at all, but the role of lighting or stage manager or something that I did not want, so I quite before the first rehearsal. I was a Senior and I was not going to being pulling the curtain or striking a set for fifteen and sixteen year-olds who got all the main roles.

That's the thing with being human. I am not always in control. I can not make anyone do anything- even if it is the right thing. Even if it is just being nice or playing by the rules or following truth. It doesn't matter. AND- although me NOT getting the role I wanted has nothing to do with absolute truth or rule following- it was not what I saw as fair so I bowed out and blamed it on a terrible director, a ruined love affair between two teachers, and the fact that the Drama teacher's daughter and all her friends were Sophomores, therefore they got cast in all the main roles.

As much as I'd like to think that I've learned something in the past thirteen years, I am not sure that I react much differently today when I don't get my way. I know that I can only control my behavior and reactions and not the mean woman behind the counter at the USPS on a Saturday morning. I can not change other peoples attitudes or perceptions or bad days, but only cling to what I know is right and true, even when giving someone a taste of their own medicine might sound more enjoyable in the moment.

I've been reading Ecclesiastes and how all things are futile, passing, here today- gone tomorrow. It can seem a bit depressing at first; a bit overwhelming and leave one feeling oppressed with indifference and grief at the fact that, "Hello! I'm not in control. As a matter of fact I'm out of control!" But the fact that we don't have to worry or stress and can give it all to God should be freeing and an enjoyable place to be in. Not scary.

I think that the idea of not being in control, not being god, not getting to persuade God into doing what we think is best worries us because it is hard to say, "I don't know." And we live in a broken world where it is really really really hard for us to wrap our minds around the fact that there is so much more to life than this little part that we can see.

My (insert outrageously insaine number here) step skin care regimen

Last night as I crawled into bed at 10:45-ish I asked Chris to guess how many products I had just used in my night time, getting ready for bed routine.

"Seven," he said aloud, just to play along as he rolled over taking the covers with him.

When I asked I didn't even know how many it was, myself, but I did know seven was an extremely low guess.

I was thinking more like ten.

You want to know how many products I used in between 10:40 and 10:45 last night:

1. Washed hands with Fresh Linen scented Bath and Body works hand soap
2. Took off contacts with Renu contact solution
3. Took of waterproof eye make-up with Neutrogena eye makeup remover
4. Washed face with Aveno face wash
5. Followed by: Neutrogena alcohol free toner
6. Moisturized with Clinique Moisture surge face lotion
7. Spritzed with Clinique Moisture surge face spray
8. Olay eye cream
9. Spot treated that zit on my temple with Clearasil
10. Brushed teeth
11. Flossed teeth
12. Listerine
13. Bath and Body works Jasmine Vanilla Sensual lotion on my dry itchy legs
(now, once in the bed...)
14. Vasaline hand cream on my hands
15. Say YES to carrots lip balm on my cracked lips
16. Lavendar pillow spray...

so,I can finally lay my head down and relax!
Obsessed? I would hardly call it that. I just have a routine!

Silence and Solitude

I left yoga, waited on a bus and immediately pulled out my cell phone after finding a seat on a bench with another guy. I felt guilty, I mean, I had just left yoga after all- and I should be continent to continue the stillness and contemplation, but I texted and emailed nonetheless. The guy beside me got off the bus and another guy sat down.

We rode up First Avenue, five to ten blocks, and my eyes wondered. I was completely taken aback when I noticed my picture on the screen of the guy’s phone next to me. There was my face looking back at me. For 3-4 seconds I seriously wondered if I was seeing things, or on one of those candid camera shows. Then I had that terrible feeling that perhaps this guy had just taken my picture.

I slowly turned my head seeing his hands, arms, dark jacket, scruffy beard, face.

It was Chris.

Initially we laughed and my heart even raced a little as I had anticipated staring into the eyes of some stranger and not my husband. But ,more than that I was embarrassed. Embarrassed for not even knowing the closeness of my own husband and for wondering what else I missed out on- on a daily basis.

When I have my ear buds in. When I’m racing to the train. When I’m so selfish all I can do is think about what I have on my agenda for the day.

That week I started utilizing the Daily Office three times a day. That is to Stop, maybe meditate on a scripture, maybe pray, maybe just sit in silence. At first I thought the idea of sitting in silence for 2-3 minutes was silly and unnecessary. But it is not. It causes me to refocus. It makes me center on Christ. I am stuck there- it’s just me and God and I have to be honest. When I take the time to STOP I am continuously conscious of God’s presence.

And because of this I listen better, I don’t over analyze, I’m not forever critical or anticipating how someone will react or what they will say before they even say it. I think these little pockets of solitude and stillness remind me that all I am and everything I do is to point to the Greatness of God. Not the Greatness of Stefani.

I am becoming a non-anxious presence, someone who doesn’t have to bow down and worship at the altar of business. Being busy or just acting like I’m busy does not make me important. For someone like me - who goes and does and fills up my calendar from 8AM-8PM, a city like New York will quickly suck the life out of you. New York loves to make you run, loves to make you feel late, unorganized and scatterbrained even though you are not. It will demand more and more until you have nothing left to give.

Finding the time to stop is like finding the money in your budget cheerfully give. You wonder how you will be able to literally make it if you give- of your money or your time, but afterward you wonder how you lived before implementing these practices.

Not stopping, and not being still for years has manifest itself physically: in headaches, stomach issues and as my chiropractor often tells me, “You are trying to carry the weigh of the world on your shoulders.”

Last Saturday I went for a jog in Central Park. It was absolutely gorgeous, life giving- total “me” time. The sun was shining, the trees were glowing in oranges and yellows, all children seemed adorably cute, I even briefly considered buying a dog- just so I could have one to jog with. AND I truly thought- Why would I ever want to leave this city? It was one of those kind of Park experiences. When I got home I made brunch, did some laundry and tidied up around the apartment. Around 3:00 Chris says to me, “You have not stopped all day long.”

To which I reply, “I don’t need to stop. I haven’t done anything. I’ve jogged, I’ve cooked, cleaned a bit- these are things FOR me. They are things I enjoy. I’ve been doing mindless activity all day- I don’t need to be still.”

Then he told me, “The point of stopping and spending time in silence is not to be mindless it is so that you can be mindful. It is so that your mind can be at a place where it can receive. You have it backwards. Silence and Solitude is not about resting the mind- it’s about using the mind.”

Serendipity

At my previous job in Texas, during my previous life in Texas, I worked as District Director of a nonprofit. About once a week myself, and all the other DD's would receive an email from our Regional Coordinator titled: Serendipity. Which is a little much, right? Once a week? Once a week you have so many ramblings and topics to discuss that you can't even group them all into one category? Even so, title the email Deadlines or To Do List or heck, call it that weekly email from Jim cause that is really what it was. Serendipity... Ah, it was so annoying. But because it is not a word I overuse, I'm using it today. I am calling this Serendipity (not to be confused with the overpriced, always booked restaurant targeted to tweens one block from our church on 60th Street) today, because it's been a week and I have a few things I'd like to share:

1. I washed my husbands iPod. How does one wash an iPod you might ask. Well, I'll tell you. Trying to multitask. Doing to much. Not paying attention due to not being truly present. See, I came home from a run in Central Park on Saturday, and before I got into the shower threw my running gear straight in the washer. (Oh yeah, we have a washing machine in our apartment...) After showering, I filled the wash with towels and other warm water items and presto- one clean iPod. I had safely zipped my Metrocard, Debit Card, a $20 bill and the iPod in the compartment on the back of my running shirt. Only after the final spin cycle did I realize, "Oh, I think I just washed my Metrocard and cash." Still a little clueless, when I unzipped the pocket I though I had just washed the ear buds. Then when I pulled the white cords out of the damp clothing heap I saw the little silver shuffle attached. My heart sank. But 24 hours in a sunny windowsill later, it works, so... that is that. It seems that I do these sorts of things more and more.

2. This summer my sister and I stumbled upon this market in Korea town. My sister knows Chinese foods & weird exotic things. She's tried to make her own tofu before- she is for real, a diehard. Plus, a dear college friend of hers was from Taiwan and she's traveled to China. What I'm trying to say is that upon her lead we ventured into this place. And I loved it. She and I bought lots of yummy things, ate them together in Herald Square and had plenty left over. So, Monday of this week, I found myself in the neighborhood again and ventured in. For $3.49 I got a "lunch box" of sorts with boiled spinach, rice noodles, kimchi, and ... anchovies that looked at me with their little fishy eyeballs.

I'm really NOT a picky eater. I mean I am a food snob and my heart breaks when I see mothers pushing around toddlers in Mclaren strollers who are drinking Yoohoo's and eating Pop-Tarts, and I do hate that we have a become a society that lives on processed foods and pantry items- BUT things don't gross me out- like Lima beans, beats, liver or anchovies. It just bothered me a little having to deal with the eyeballs because I do like to look at my food before I put it in my mouth, and I just couldn't.

All of this to say, after paying for my lunch I stood on the sidewalk and broke out my chopsticks. Standing there shoveling stinky cabbage into my mouth an older Asian man made eye contact with me. I immediately knew, because of the maps and fanny packs, that the group of five he was in were tourists. They stopped to peer in the widows of the grocery store before going in. But I liked the look he gave me. I liked the way his face lit up when he saw me standing, in a block of Korean shops, eating anchovies with chopsticks.

3. My husband's pepper plant has produced peppers! Did I tell you he had a pepper plant? Did I tell you that this pepper plant sprung up from simply dumping red pepper flakes- compliments of our neighborhood pizza shop- into a planter? Seriously. It was just an "experiment". And it worked.

4. Chris brought me a gift last night. After a full day's work and then parent teacher conferences he arrived home at 8:00pm with a pink Victoria's Secret bag. Three words: push-up bra, disturbingly inappropriate (okay, four words)

5. This morning on my way to work I saw a bird on the sidewalk hopping around one one leg. He only had one leg, and I thought, "How sad." Then, as I continued across First Avenue on my way to the subway I thought, "Really, that is not sad at all. He may only have one foot, but he was created to fly." So really, he'll be okay.

Stop

I think I've actually slowed down enough (although I feel like I have a long, long way to go) that I'm actually getting it. Although it may be just a tiny bit. I've been turning inward for peace- seeking what God has instilled inside of me, instead of looking for an answer to a problem, knowing all the while there is no solution to life - that it is the ultimate mystery.

I've always though that by doing things and staying busy and accomplishing everything I do in ultra-fast, super-quick, "girl-who-can-do-it-all" mode that I wouldn't miss anything in life. That if I read quickly I could read more books- even though I somehow missed about 50% of what I was in the middle of reading- in order to rush to the next book to read.

Even if have two pots on the stove, one dish in the oven and another stainless steel mixing bowl in my hands - that it may turn out horribly, if you know what I mean. Multitasking means you are missing the experience of just doing that one thing your meant to be doing. More mistakes are made. In the trying to fit All This Life into my schedule, I become the Tasmanian Devil Whirlwind that knocks down anything in my path and blow right over people if need be- because they are slower, or more methodical, or less energetic. (Energy right? Not stress driven.) This city really compliments my desire to be fast paced, which makes slowing down that much harder.

What am I saying? I find that this amped up version of myself is not all that desirable of a person to be around. For example, I got on the bus last Monday night after yoga and immediately pulled out my cell phone. I Facebooked, I emailed, I texted. Glancing to my right, I noticed my very own picture on the screen of the phone belonging to the guy sitting beside me. For three very long seconds I was concerned- wow, am being followed by some low budget reality TV program? That guy was my husband, who had been sitting right beside me for blocks. I was that Not Present.

I'm hardly ever mentally still. In the elevator I'm taking my coat off. On the bus I'm emailing. On the train I'm making my shopping list. At home I am chronically tidying, doing chores, rearranging , etc. etc. And I'm not living, I'm just busying.

So, I've been working on it. On listening during conversations and being aware of what people are really saying to me. I've been trying to see people as "thou's" instead of "it's" as we are learning in our book study. This means that I realize we are all made in God's image & we are all valuable. So often we use people to get what we want and call it networking. Or, we disregard people because of there social class, different opinions or lack of education. Or maybe they really are just someone who is really, really hard to love. Someone difficult to converse with, who is flat out mean, never smiles and is really quite very lonely.

What do I fear most about being still? I am afraid I will get fat and lazy and will have to move back to Texas and live in a trailer. To me inactivity, thoughtlessness, and still are synonyms. Honestly, if I'm still I have to think and I don't want to deal with those things that I know will rise to the top. And what if God tells me something really difficult. Then what? But so far, it hasn't been bad at all. It's actually been really nice & I feel like I'm existing on an entirely new plane. I'm experiencing life within life.

Just a Little Encouragement

First the fastest ladies in the world speed up First Avenue

Followed by NYPD escorts

Then the TV camera & crew truck

Then (about fifteen minutes later) the fastest men in the world running five-minute miles
Still.
At mile eighteen.

The pack of men has not remained as tight as the women.

And here is Meb, who won last years race falling way, way behind.

Just the endless sea of 45,000 runners from our rooftop.

Some of the Marathon Party attendees

I told my choir director that I would not be at church Sunday, November 7th to sing because of the marathon. So others assumed that I might be running. "No, I am not running." Oh, do you know someone who is running? "Well, I am friends with a handful of people that are running, but really I am just a fan of runners in general."

I realized why I love Marathon Sunday in NYC - it is the ultimate encouragement day. It really is. And me, being an encourager, a supporter, an edifier, a writer of greeting cards and giver of hugs, LOVE it when I see other people encouraging one another. I could have stood out there and clapped and shouted for hours. I really could have, and would have, if I didn't have to be somewhere at 3:00 Sunday afternoon.

And if you're like me and can't get enough. Watch this video.

Speechless

Here's where I am. I've been trying to be still more to listen more and it's really hard. I think we all want to talk and share and feel, not only wanted and understood, but well, normal. Just to have someone nod their head and "get" it.

Personally, I'm really trying hard to do more of the nodding and sitting and waiting than just spewing words vomitous at people.

This morning I read that in order for us to be able to listen and engage with those around us sincerely then we have to be spending time in the stillness listening to God. I have to spend time in silence and solitude in order to love others well, in order to listen well. Silence, solitude and stillness are where God speaks to us. They are pivotal to the Christian life. Stopping- even weekly for a Sabbath- is required to maintain any sort of joy and peace in life. God commanded us to do it, so why does it go against all that I feel is right? Why does our Western culture applaud the go-Go-GOing and "Martha Stewart-ness"?

In the hiccups, in the gasping for air, in the small pause at the top of the breath- that is where He waits for us. Often when I find myself there, I don't know what to do with the quiet. I long for rest but when given the opportunity I usually would rather fill my time with shredding last years bank statements and going through Chris's white undershirts, finding which ones can now move to the "get rid of" or "dust rag" pile.

Loving others well is not easy. There are about 25 people that I want to love well. Everyone else- I often push aside, don't make time for, or just nod my head in agreement of their rambling nonsense (that I don't agree with) just to get them to shut up. Loving well means speaking truth. Loving well means there will be conflict. Loving well means I listen to you when share your story and I don't interrupt. And I listen with clarity and understanding and ears that don't think they know what they will hear next.

Here's where I am. I haven't written this month. Minus about a page where I tried to get the ball rolling with random thoughts and starts and blimps of the week prior.

I know there is something in me boiling, something that will come to fruition. I just have to keep these fingers on the keyboard. Being still. Listening for words and dialogs and descriptions still to come.

Seeing the other side

Today marks the first day of National novel writing month. And if you recall, in 2008 I wrote 50,000 words during the month of November. I'm not sure if that is what I am supposed to do this November, but I do know this:

I need to write more. On the things that pudder around within me alot of the time.

I need to give it 110% during the month of November & then spend December putting it all together- rearranging the mosaic. Making the stories into The Story.

...

All this to say: as much as I will be writing more- I may not be writing more on here. You may see less of me. Or not- I'm not really sure how all of this will play out. But I do know that I need to check Facebook less, G-chat less, talk to my co-worker less (even though she's one of my dearest friends) and just DO IT ALREADY!!! Because I do have time to write, not a whole heck of alot in between paper jams, scanning, and answering phones. But I do waste a lot of time. Writing needs to be my work.

It's always worth it on the other side.

Strike a Pose

The First for Women magazine with my photos hit shelves last week! Yay! The photographer was nice enough to send me a link to view all the proofs online. Today, I mailed a copy to my Memaw (pronounced Mee-Mah) and my mother-in-law in Texas.

When I asked my mom if she needed a copy (because I assumed she'd already bought a copy) she told me that she had bought four. One for my dad (who lives in the same house with her), one for my 13-year-old brother (who also lives in the same house) and two for herself; one to take to work and one to leave at home.

This weekend provided the rest and reflection time that I needed. Saturday I went for a run along the East River before meeting some friends for a Spanish inspired brunch- delish. Afterward, Chris and I got massages and headed home, stopping to buy a few groceries along the way. It was a slow day- but nice & with just enough activity sprinkled in. (The kind of activity that fills me up.)

My massage was... interesting. It was more Chinese/ holistic in nature than the more relaxing massages I'm used to. It was therapeutic and less about chilling out. But that was okay, I needed someone to kneed my back like a wad of tough bread dough. It was intense and left me a little sore. That little Asian woman had some unforeseen strength. She swung from a bar mounted above the massage table and walked on my hamstrings. It was odd, but felt really, really great.

My chiropractor keeps telling me I'm loosing the curvature in my neck from all this sitting and typing and leaning forward on my keyboard. I'm trying to be good. It's hard to not cradle the phone and keep typing. Yoga is helping. And, I bought one of those expensive bed pillows that are supposed to help keep your head in the right position all night and help with that cervical curve I suppose.

The thing is I like to sleep on my belly with my arms above my head, even if it is bad for you, even if my arms do lose circulation. I've done really well remaining on my back and side but for some reason I feel so much more safe laying on my stomach. But it's nearly impossible with that darn pillow, so I've started throwing it on the floor in the middle of the night. Even though I know it's what's good for me. Even though I know it's helping me. Even though I know I will probably have a neck cramp and a tiny headache from sleeping on my stomach in a ball all night- limbs all numb and tangled. I'd rather feel safe.

Isn't that how it is in life with most things though? We stay in that safe tangled ball instead of doing what is beneficial in the long run.

Shower Sarenade

Odd thing: About a month ago our building maintenance men cleaned our air duct vents in the bathroom. This is just a routine thing. Next week they are changing the air filters, then later they will come around and clean the drier vents... you know, that sort of thing. The thing is, ever since they cleaned that bathroom vent the sounds from other apartments spill right on through.

Other than these noises, you can literally hear no one or nothing from the apartments around us. Really- thank God for steel frame, 2007 buildings, because when we lived in our pre-war walk-up in Astoria- Yikes! I could tell you what time each night (oh, like 4:00am) our upstairs neighbor came home- wearing heels. I could tell you what the guy next door talked about on his phone conversations. I could hear the parties next door, and the girl who often smoked on her fire escape while talking on her cell phone. Nightmare.

BUT- since moving on up, we hear nothing. Not even the poor colicky baby (who is a year old now) who would scream at all hours down the hall from us. I only heard him when I was standing in the hallway waiting for the elevator and I felt so bad for his mother.

So, in addition to the occasional bark of a dog, or a cough from time to time, in the mornings I can hear singing. There are two male vocalists (not a duet, not singing together, just two people I may or may not hear on any given day)- one sounding more like the music I hear in my yoga class & one singing songs from the Top One Hundred list played on the radio. In all honesty I can not make out the words or the language for that matter, but it's really hilarious. And I have no idea if they are in the apartments above us, beside us or both. If they only knew I could hear them while they are singing all alone in the shower. The one place where you'd think you are truly all alone. But not in this city.

...

In other Friday tid-bits- today I wore my new shoes. Yes, both arrived safe and sound from Overstock.com earlier this week and both fit marvelously! I love fall fashion. Even though I had (perhaps "had" is a strong word) to walk .8 miles uphill in 3" platform booties wearing a pencil skirt that really shortened my gait to the subway this morning- it was worth it. And I'm wearing tights for the first time this season today- 42 degree temps will make you do that!

I spent my lunch hour at Union Square Market - tasting different varieties of squashes, sampling white beets and buying apples. I considered getting some hot pear cider, but decided just to dive right into my bag and have a Honeycrisp apple instead. Yes, I am that person that buys $8 worth of unique, heirloom apples and shares them with co-workers. Oh, well. Better than Friday afternoon snickers bars.

Into the weekend. On the agenda: yoga, brunch with gal pals, massages (for Chris and me), cooking, possibly more yoga & singing on the Praise Team Sunday morning at church-- (ie: 8:00am- 1:00pm Sunday- that is where I'll be, and it is what fills me up!)

Surrounded

This photo is of my BFF from Texas who visited a couple weekends ago. You know, Tessa's mom? (I feel sorry for my friends and family, not only is my life an open book, but, "Hello, I'm going to blog about you too!") Just kidding, I think I do pretty well, don't I?

With my friends visit to NY I got to see the city through new eyes again. It makes me like where I live because sometimes, quite frankly I hate it. We had the perfect fall weekend - cool apple cider, pumpkin frozen yogurt, time spent sitting in Washington Square Park, shopping at H&M and walking the blocks around my neighborhood in Yorkville. It was good fall weather: chilly enough for a jacket in the early morning and evening yet, surrounded by sunshine during the day.

Although I know I've experienced alot during my three years in the city, I feel like there is so much more I want to do and see and know before we leave. Yes, I've won tickets to a Broadway Show in the lottery (front row, West Side Story), been published, gotten (another) tattoo, been a hair model in a magazine, lived in Manhattan, written a novel (that still remains untouched... completed, not finished). I have had the opportunity to meet so many great people from all over the world. But still, there are things that I'd hate to leave the city and never do. Like:

1. Ride a double Decker Gray Line bus- I imagine that the view from the top is nicer than my day-to-day sidewalk view.
2. Go see a jazz musician performance at Birdland
3. Attend a Friday night dinner at Natural Gourmet
4. Shop, eat and take in the real China Town- Flushing, Queens
5. Spend a day in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
6. Bronx Zoo
7. Run the NYC Half Marathon
8. Attend the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Center
9. Stand in line with a million tourist to have pizza at one of those famous NYC pizza places
10. Have my photo made with The Naked Cowboy.
Oh, and 11. Pay to take a nap.

I don't want to leave NYC for about 23 hours out of each day. For that other one, I wonder what the heck am I doing here again? Then I think about the books and the magazine and the beautiful people that surround me and the amazing tattoo artist I discovered and I'm okay. Even though I miss that Tessa & her momma.

Picture It

Well, I've finally, finally moved into 2010-- with my Motorola Droid phone. It's really fancy and has too many options and widgets and gadgets. But, I do like it, my husband did good. I just said, "I don't care, just pick out a phone for me." Even though my indifference really gnaws on him from time to time, he said, "Okay, you will just get what you get."

And that is what happened. All phones are pretty fancy these days. And since we finally left AT&T and were offered the infamous "FREE" phone with a two-year contract deal, then the new phones (Oh yeah, Chris got a new phone too.) were free. Whatever, so here is a picture of me at work taken by my co-worker. I'll work on my phone camera skills in the coming days.

Speaking of, this past weekend I spent hours editing, cropping, resizing and organizing my photos in iPhoto. There are a few things that I take pictures of more often than not. Whether I am on vacation, roaming the streets of NY, back at home in Texas, on the beach, or across the globe-with my camera in hand I tend to photograph these similar settings. I've discovered that there are some "go to" objects/ scenes that I capture. Some I realized, some surprised me. They are:

Produce -(at a Farmers Market) Or, markets in general- but mostly produce & flowers
Bicycles - the rustier the better, baskets on beach cruisers, and bikes with horns
Windows- widows with shutters in all shades, open window, windows that open on hinges like doors, windows with flower boxes, window that I can see in, windows with cats sitting in the ledge
Doors - doors to homes that are red or green or navy, doors with huge fall wreathes, doors that arch at the top, doors with big brass knockers
Trees & Leaves- obviously
Roads- cobblestone streets, brick streets, dirt paths, windy roads
Fences- wooden white fences, iron fences in front yards, rotting gray fences, barbedwire fences

These in addition to the obvious: sunsets, landscapes, beaches, water

I've started catagorizing my photos (which date back to about 2003/4) and I want to establish a creative way to use these pictures. I can only print and frame so many. Notecards? Calendars? Card table vendor at the Union Square Market? I love my photos and I want to acutally see them!

Falling

This is the first Fall, since we've lived in the Northeast, that Chris and I did not get the opportunity to leaf peep. We've gone for three October's in a row - New England, Vermont, Canada- and I have not tired of it. I love the colors of fall, looking out across the rolling mountains and seeing God's creation in yellows and reds and oranges. It leaves me speechless & still (neither of which happen too often). Ah, Fall in New England, so romantic.

So, this year no trip- but that is okay. There will be more trips and more scenes and more life ahead. Right now I'm not going to pretend that I have it all together or that I'm doing perfectly wonderful. And that is okay. You experience life in the pulse of the tide. It comes in waves, and there is only so far that tears and laying flat on your back counting the glittery flecks in your celling for hours at a time will get you.

I cling to what is known, what is routine, what is comfortable & familiar & all that I know to be True. Like oatmeal with a pat of butter, raisins, a few crumbled walnuts and a dollop of honey- warming me from the inside out. I don't want to meet new people right now, I don't want to have to try. I long for my oversized cashmere sweater & favorite ink pen. It's not that I'm experiencing a creative block or am trying to withdraw (although I briefly considered it...). I can laugh, I can have a glass of wine and sing along with Stevie Nicks it's just that sometimes it becomes a bit much. Life doesn't make sence. I don't have the answers and I hit a wall.

Maybe it's just getting more mature but things come into perspective a little more easily these days and I don't take everything so seriously and I don't worry about offending someone by not attending their birthday party at 10:00pm at a drag queen karaoke bar.

The thing is I'm hoping that each time I hit a wall, each time I fall down that I'm learning something. Something about myself, or where I need to grow, or about the God I worship. I hope that I'm changing: stopping to enjoy the mystery of life- the unknown. Even when it hurts. Even when I think that God (if there is a God!) must have forgotten me- because what I'm going through doesn't seem like anything a loving God would ever allow a person to go through.

But that is why silence is important, it seems, when all I know to be true and right feels so far away and shallow. Journaling. Fasting. Praying. Staying in community (with people who, by the way, have gone through: divorce, sickness, death- of mothers and fathers and babies, adultery, weariness, loneliness & real crisis of the heart situations.) And through these things I know- His strength is perfect when our strength is gone. And one day, I'll be able to say, "Remember that time....?" and look back & tell of where I've come.

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?Or who has been his counselor?
Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
Romans 11:33-36

Threes

I've got to say, I'm really happy with the Fall that we've been experiencing in the Northeast. It's been sunny and "fresh" as my friend said during her visit last week. I considered wearing open toed shoes today, even though it was in the 50's in New York this morning. I see alot of toes walking along the sidewalks, but I just couldn't do it myself. I dawned my camel colored loafers (complete with hosiery socks) and my khaki belted trench coat.

I guess I'm ready & waiting expectantly to bundle up, wear long sleeved sweaters and those freaking new knee boots!! But as my co-worker told me today, "it's not winter yet." I should enjoy these days, instead of anxiously awaiting the the first day I HAVE to wear my peacoat.

Today is my parents anniversary. And last night I dreamed that I lost my engagement ring. What does this mean? In my dream, I was not as upset as I thought I should be, and somehow felt that it might be found, or just show up. I was also mad that Chris just kept repeating, "This is why we have insurance." No amount of money could replace the sentimentality of my dear ring, and I was upset with Chris for not being upset. Poor guy, he was just trying bring some equilibrium, to speak peace into an otherwise emotional wife. And after all, "this is why we have insurance." But then again, I wasn't as distraught as I think I'd be in real life if such a situation occurred- God forbid.

I'm learning in marriage that there is no substitute for time spent together. Even though I'd like to wander through The Mall in Central Park and Chris would like to sit side by side watching How I Met Your Mother, spending time together is something we crave. And, we negotiate- do a little of this and a little of that, when time permits. I don't see how families do it- with more than just the two of them- kids and all that!! I mean between both of us working full time jobs, yoga, P90X (Chris's new endeavour in becoming healthy/ fit/ and -the real reason-Totally HOT!), church on Sundays, Bible study small group, chiropractor visits, trips to the grocery store and all that other stuff that comes up during the week (parties, dinners, returning expensive shoes, dentist appointments, having keys made....) It's crazy.

A friend introduced me to the idea of Three's. Three things in one day- that is it. That is all a person can handle. So far, it has totally worked for me and I've found it to be completely true.

Thursday Three: work, yoga & CVS

Friday Three: work, lunch with a friend & worship executive team meeting

Saturday Three: Yoga (or possibly a run), Chelsea Market, & The Leather Spa

Sunday Three: church, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality study & .... (I have yet to commit in writing to a third, but I am considering a couple options.)

I've asked Chris to join me in going to look for new kitchen stuff at Chelsea Market in a "Can we do this together?" sort of way. We need a new spatula and would like a nice chopping knife & our wooden spoon broke in half last night as Chris stirred in ground Veal. The more time he spends in the kitchen the more gadgets he wants. Well, that sounds wrong, what I mean is you realize how important it is to have good quality cookware/ utensils when you are actually cooking. And I'd really like to get all my winter shoes "winterized" this weekend, polished and water proofed & re-soled if need be.

So, three things a day. That is it. Now, as long as nothing else happens.... we are good.

Harvest Time

Last weekend my BFF from Texas was in The City- for 48 hours, so I gave her a "typical Stefani weekend" and I'm pretty sure she loved it.

These are just a few pictures from our first stop Saturday morning, Union Square Market

I love the rich colors and textures that abound in the market. I never grow tired of going there, seeing the wooden crates, faded grey with time, overflowing with leafy greens and fingerling potatoes.

And with simply the push of a button

These lovely leather boots just became mine. Do you recall the boot drama of last winter? Well, it's time to find the perfect boot yet again. Last year I purchased black leather boots and this year- brown.

So, here's how it all began: $20 off coupon in the mail from DSW. So, yesterday, being Columbus Day and it being extremely slow in the office, I took some extra time and headed downtown to DSW. Of course I should have realized since most everyone else in the city was off work- besides our London, England based company- that DSW would be just as crowded as it was on Saturday.

This did not stop me. I plowed through grey suede booties and Uggs and pointed toe 3" platform heels trying to find something that looked like what I had in mind that fit my narrow foot. It's quite comical actually, and helps significantly to weed out possible options- this thing of me flopping around in a huge boot, and being able to slip my entire foot in and out without unzipping or putting forth much effort.

So, I found some boots that I loved and somewhat overlooked the $150 price tag ($20 off, hello!) and told myself I'd wear them for years as I stood in line.

But last night and this morning as I tried them on with various skirts I realized that these boots were not very versatile and a $150 shoe need be versatile! So, as luscious as they are and as lovely as they smell- those boots will be going back.

So, today I spent way too much time roaming the aisles of Dillards, DSW, Nine West, Nordstrom, and Overstock.com from my desk. I want the perfect boot!! And why do guys not understand that having just one black boot is not enough? Have a casual black boot and a dressy black boot--- still not enough. Having a a casual black boot, a dressy black boot and a pair of galoshes - I'm still not satisfied. So, I found the brown shoes above (that are the same brand as those that I will be returning to DSW) and feel like they will be good with skirts and jeans all winter. They are practical and cute.

But I don't want practical, I want a pair of messy, slouchy cowboy boots (although these are usually way to big for my feet- so I guess that is a good thing) and peep toe heels and animal print booties with big silk laces. These are not practical; these would get ruined in the snow and are not ideal commuter shoes. So, these boots will do. And they are nice.

This was my first purchase on Overstock.com and I hope to be a satisfied customer. Of course I couldn't simply purchase the boots, but threw these cute shoes in my bag as well before hitting "Proceed to Checkout." And I got both of these for less than the one pair of boots purchased yesterday.

Hopefully, these shoes will fit and I will not have to return another pair of otherwise perfectly wonderful shoes. Because I am a little bitter that I have totally lost my $20 off coupon (stupid store policy.They will not let me use the $20 off toward another purchase- which I do not understand whatsoever, but whatever.)

Marching on, marching on...

Just Plain Beat

This weekend was just glorious- as far as needing a cool, yet sunny couple of Fall days to stomp around NYC. It rained all week and I desperately hoped for some sunshine for my friend's 48 hour visit from Texas.

We hit the ground running Friday night and kept going until Sunday afternoon when she headed to the airport. It was "quality time" as she called it. "Each moment counted!" And I am so thankful for her brief stay with Chris and me. It meant alot, especially since her cute baby girl had to stay at home with Papa (& what a Father he is for entertaining a 1 year old for a couple days- impressive, no doubt!)

(Pics and stories from her visit later, for now... I'm going elsewhere.)

So, I'm learning some things about myself that are simply freeing to realize. I mean often I start to wonder "is it just me" and "is this normal?" It is good when you read and hear and experience and it sort of validates all the mayhem in your head. Even though I still haven't figured out how the homeless lady (the one with the "bad heart" remember her?) outside my office building has a cell phone-- does anyone else see this as odd?

First, feeling sad, angry, frustrated and tired are not bad things. These are not negative or wrong emotions; they are simply emotions. Dealing with them and recognizing and telling others, "Hey, I'm just really pissed off right now" is not a bad thing. It's not. Without recognizing it, writing it, singing, running, and talking my way through it I'll just continue to drown in it all. Suppressing what needs to come out leads to mental constipation. Acting and truly believing it will just all "go away" doesn't mean it will, and as a matter of fact- what seems to happen is that something (When I've forgotten what the real issue was...) continues to gnaw at me and angst covers my skin like a dewy mist that I can't get out of and I just feel sick. I don't even realize that I'm doing it to myself.

For so long I just thought by trying harder and praying longer and realizing, "he did not give us a spirit of fear, but of peace and love and a sound mind" and wanting to feel different would actually make me feel different. But some things just need dealt with.

I know that wearing myself out is not what God intended for me. It should bring me joy to serve Him and not make me bitter. Boundaries are important- and so is stretching myself and I'm learning the difference in the two.

I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin: with who I am now, at 30-years-old. There are some things (many things actually) that I can not control, I can simply react, act, move forward or stay stagnant. I can chose to grow through the rocky places I'm trying to climb ever so slowly over- or just sit down and cry. Even though there may be tears in my eyes I will keep moving forward. Even if I have to Be Still in order to Move Forward (which is an idea I am trying to wrap my go-go-go brain around).

It's okay to feel beat, just not beat down. I'm thankful for people who love and support and pray and write and call and let me bury my face in their laps and find rest.

Moving On

So, I've pretty much done everything to avoid writing today including: writing all those emails I've not had time for, read everyones blogs that are listed on my blog, looked for the perfect photo to include on this blog, made a dermatologist appointment, canceled an optometrist appointment, hand wrote two note cards and made a list of things to pick up on the way home from work.

Seriously, what is the deal. Chris says to me just last night, "You need to blog." To which I responded, "I don't have anything to say." What I meant was, "I don't have anything that a. I feel like posting on the Internet, b. is uplifting and joyful and funny to say, or c. I can wrap up in 500-1,000 words, put a pretty bow on and feel satisfied leaving for all eternity here, for all to see."

So- I'll just start:

Tuesday was The Chambers fourth anniversary. It feels like four years, honestly, it feels like fourteen years, but that is because we have dated/ been in love (although on-again off-again) for half our lives already. That is insane. Most of our married lives we've lived in NYC- which is also sort of off, being that we are really two of the most Earthy, hippie, dirt loving people I know. It's hard to think about my life before this man, I mean, most of my memories include him- which is sort of nice.

I celebrated by not going to yoga Tuesday night at 7:30pm. We tossed around the idea of going out to dinner; somewhere near our place, somewhere different and quaint and not too far from home. But, by Tuesday morning when we exchanged handmade notecards (yes, we are talking arts and crafts projects here) we had pretty much talked ourselves out of going out to dinner and decided to stay home and cook.

We all know that Stefani is a foodie through and through, but Chris is really getting experimental in the kitchen. Just this past Sunday afternoon I stopped at the Farmers Market on our street to get some apples. Obviously I was allured & intrigued by eggplant, acorn squash, butternut squash and an ornamental pumpkin as well. Walking back toward my building with an armful of harvest, I saw my husband. Buying a lobster. ((Sigh...))

Really. Motorcycle- I get it. Leaving our wedding on a motorcycle- done. Cross country on a motorcycle- yes. Learning to surf- worthwhile endeavour. Living in the back of a Volvo for a summer- why not. Just seeing how long ones hair can get, curls and all- okay, sure. Randomly cooking a lobster for lunch on a Sunday afternoon- just another adventure, right?

So, while I waited on my butternut squash to cook in the oven, Chris steamed a live Maine lobster in a big pot on the stove. Adding this to the mussels, escargot, and scallops he's made this summer alone, I'd say he's come a long way!

So, for our anniversary dinner I made a cornucopia of Fall Veggies in the Crockpot which sort of intimidated Chris and was not as pretty as I'd have liked it to have been, although it tasted wonderfully. I heated some sausage for Chris to eat with it & served it with whole wheat pasta, trying to mask the warm, fallish, nutty flavor a little bit. (I get that it can be too much veggie taste!)

...

And for dessert: NY State apples topped with a wonderful oatmeal, crunchy/ biscuit-y, bread pudding like crust that Chris created himself. Bake at 350 for about twenty minutes and thrown under the broiler for five more, it was delicious. It's amazing what one can create doing a little pantry inventory: flour, eggs, butter, milk, vanilla, cinnamon, oatmeal, nutmeg, honey- a little of some or all of these. It's amazing what one can create working with what they already have.

just a tid bit

“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein."
~Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith

Sorry I've been a bit MIA. One friend emailed and said I'd gone "off the radar" and my husband was not so subtle in his one word email: Blog.

I've been writing, just not on here. It has been a pretty rough life these past couple of weeks.

All this nothing to say. I'm alright. I'm just moving slow. And for all of you who are telling me to, "take care of myself" I am. Initially I had no idea why you were telling me this, but now I know. It's hard remember to take care of yourself when you feel like there is somthing more important that needs to be taken care of. This is not true. I am important.

And, as God would have it, we are currently doing a church-wide study on "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" which couldn't be more aproapriate for me right now. It sucks though, I don't want to feel right now- which is sort of why no blogging. But I can write. I can write something. And I will soon. I can tell you why I like Fall, what we did for our four year anniversary and how excited I am to have a very special Texas house guest this weekend.

More tomorrow. Promise. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
XO

A Shepherd's Prayer (or Stefani's Prayer)

So, is this it? Really? Because I was expecting something a bit more grandiose. Something more, well, just plain bigger.

This seems so simple, almost too commonplace in a way.

I realize this is a big deal, everything that is going on around me is meant to be- as it is- and I don’t want to miss any of it but in so many ways I feel like I already have.

So, this IS it. I know it is. I just wish I could see how I was a part of this bigger picture I know that I AM a part of. And I wish that I didn’t feel so lonely and lost and misunderstood. How will anything I do or say make an impact on what is to come? And what do I have to offer anyway? I’m not wealthy nor do I hold a position of power. I’m not talented or well known or even well liked for that matter. I’m just me.

I expected a very noticeable stopping point in my life- my desires, wants, fleshly faults to suddenly alter overnight; a feeling of being changed. A feeling of where the old ways end and the new ways begin.

But that hasn’t happened. I’m still me: a bit insecure struggling with self-loathing and anger and wanting more than I already have.
I am just one person, and I DO believe, but I wonder if I have the capacity to believe enough, or to trust enough or to follow enough. I have Faith and I know Truth, but I’ve seen very little of either in the lives of those around me. I’ve seen miracles and experienced God’s presence & know he is at work all around me. I’ve seen enough to know Jesus is the Son of God.

So is it wrong that I feel like I’m on the verge- constantly on the edge of something really great that doesn’t quite come to fruition? Is what I’m going through right now another one of these times? (Photo credit marvelsphoto.com)

It's Finally Fall!

Autumn Movement by: Carl Sandburg

I cried over beautiful things
knowing no beautiful thing lasts.

The field of cornflower yellow is a scarf at the neck of the copper sunburned woman, the mother of the year, the taker of seeds.

The northwest wind comes and the yellow is torn full of holes,
new beautiful things come in the first spit of snow on the northwest wind,
and the old things go, not one lasts.

It's What I Signed Up For

I work as a receptionist. There I said it. I'm not too proud. I mean at one point I was too proud, but then I sort of got over it. I'm a writer who works reception at a Project and Cost Management Consulting Firm. There, that sounds much better.

The following are things that you may/ may not know about that person who answers the phone at your doctors office, law firm, CPA, sports club, finance advisers office.

1. We are the Gate Keepers. It really is the only thing we can control, so it's a pretty sweet gig.

2. Being the Gate Keeper means that we lie, alot. In any given day when I say over the phone, "He's not available" or "She's away from her desk" 50% of the time the employee has just told me, ---"No, no I don't want to take that call. Put it into my voicemail." The worst is when the caller figures this out and asks that I connect them to the employees cell phone. This requires more "pretending" where I act like I'm dialing the cell. Then announce, "I'm sorry I'm getting his voicemail on his cell phone as well." There's alot of acting involved in this job.

3. Don't call the receptionist Sweetie, Sugar, Dear. These are not appropriate. Ever.

4. Flattery will only get you so far. When you ask the receptionist, "How are you doing, today?" we assume you are a telemarketer, cold caller, or someone desperate for work or a job. Unless you are someone who calls daily, someone I've become chummy with- I immediately go into wrap this call up ASAP mode.

5. The Reception Desk is not the complaint desk. It is not our fault the copier continues to jam. We do not order the bad coffee. I can not help it if the temperature on your half of the floor is too hot or if your sandwich tray for your meeting arrives at 12:14 instead of 12:00 sharp. We are not to blame for the Internet not working, for your phone consistently dropping calls or the construction that may be going on on the floor above ours.

6. A Receptionist is not a Psychologist.

7. We don't have a paging system. This is not Wal-Mart or Pep Boys or a supermarket. Perhaps we will get off our toosh and walk around the office to see if the party you are looking for is actually at his/ her desk, if you are pleasant. Additionally, if the person is not at his/ her desk DO NOT ask their whereabouts, because it is unknown. Further, if the person does not answer at their extension when we are trying to transfer a call we do not know why. They could be on another call, in the restroom, getting more coffee, or simply not answering their phone.

8. Speaker phone is annoying. People who regularly use speaker phone come across arrogant and too important to be bothered to pick up the receiver. And just so you know, when you call on speaker phone the first syllable of most words you speak are dropped. Therefore, "Good afternoon. May I speak to Christopher Miller? This is Brandon Thompson," may sound alot like "Od afternoon. I eak to Christoper Iller? Is Andon Ompson." This is why we ask you "I'm sorry, who are you looking for?" and "What is your name again?" We can't understand you. PICK UP THE PHONE.

9. The reception desk is not a Communal desk. It is not Everyman's desk. You can not rummage through drawers or files at your discretion or advise on where things should be kept. Yes, we will help you, yes the reception area is a common area, but the reception desk is the receptionist's desk and your office/ desk/ cubicle is yours. If you do rummage you may find gum, straws, cough drops, the directory of everyone in the church choir, pricey organic teas, or emergency items. Emergency items include: band-aids, Advil, back up pair of pantyhose, tampons, dark chocolate, and deodorant.

10. People tell us stuff. We see stuff. We hear stuff. And we sort of see ourselves as the office mother. Do not take advantage. We like our down time- it's why we do what we do. We enjoy the time we have to paint our nails, do SUDOKU, update our blogs, shop online, write scripts, and watch YouTube videos of dancing troops - all the while trying to maintain the peace. "Good morning" and "Have a good afternoon" roll much easier off the tongue when we actually like where we work.