Getaway

I am deciding today, right here and right now, I've got to get off this island more than I am. Period. In the past six months the furthest I've traveled is Bear Mountain. That's all. I think I've been to Jersey City three times, Roosevelt Island no less than five, Astoria and Flushing Meadows Park in Queens and that is it. I have got to get out of here.

It's easier, for me anyway, to consider vacationing and travel in the Spring and Summer months. Winter is so grey and dead that I just want to hibernate- but this is when I should be "getting away" most of all. Chris has already started talking about the cruise we will take in February, 2012. Stagnant and stuck are not good feelings. This is not to say visiting places that the 6 train can take me to and parks way out in Brooklyn are not necessary, but getting out of NYC is vital.

I need to take people up on their offers of borrowing their cars. I need to visit my friend in Boston, who is only a $30 bus ticket away. I need to go down to North Carolina, or West Virginia or DC... when my friends are taking weekend trips. Or heck, just buying an Amtrack ticket and staying in Connecticut for the night may bring balance into my otherwise lopsided desire for Earth.

Traveling isn't cheep and when you are paying extraordinarily hight rent, it's easy to just push vacationing- weekend getaways or anything else- to the side. But, I'm seeing where that is not really an option any longer. Plus, there are affordable ways to travel, to take day trips or anything to feel part of the real world. Not just NYC.

....

My sister will be here next week, Chris's mom soon thereafter, and then another girl friend from Texas. This weekend Chris will be going with the youth group to Great Wolf Lodge, and I'm hosting a baby shower in June... So, pretty much from now until we leave our apartment in June 3oth, our weekends are busy. And Chris leaves for Rwanda, July 1st. He'll be traveling with our church July 1st- 15th, then he's planning on backpacking around Europe the remainder of the month. (Did I mention we don't really know where we will be living July 1st...? Oh, and moving... not exactly the best time to plan a vacation.)

I don' t know why I got into all of that, only except to say that when I look at my planner (yes I carry a paper date book in my purse!) planning some time out seems impossible. However, we are traveling to Lake Placid with Chris's mom- which I'm really looking forward to, and maybe over Memorial Day weekend I stay with a friend in Boston. I am excited about house guests and seeing people I love and the activities that blow through the streets of this city during Spring and Summer. But, I've got to get the heck out of here from time to time. I just gotta.

Echo

I realize it's been a week since my last post. It's not that I haven't had time to write, but I've been filling my writing time with research time. Researching where we might be living in July. Searching for doctors online: MD, ND, physical therapy, counselors, specialists... anyone that might take my insurance. And these are things I absolutely hate doing: calling doctors, making appointments, filling out paperwork, verifying costs and coverage with my insurance company. It's exhausting. - And as ridiculous as it might sound, I'm proud for taking some initiative finally and moving toward taking care of myself for a change.

I'll start with last Tuesday:

Tuesday I had two cavities filled which doesn't even phase me any more. After years of dental procedures and dental work- it's just a part of my identity: bad teeth. But when I get patronized about flossing more or brushing before bed or eating fewer sweets I could come out of that motorized chair, throw that weighted vest off of my chest and hit someone. I live with a man who didn't go to the dentist between 1997 and 2007, whom I've never see floss his teeth and he had his first cavity last year. Don't get me started! (too late....?)

But, Tuesday morning, I had about ten free minutes prior to my 9:00 appointment to sit in Madison Square Park.

In an attempt to avoid the downtown morning commuter rush, I left home early, factoring in a little buffer time. Wandering across 23rd street from Park to seventh Avenue I decided to walk through the park. And then, I just sat. I sat while others were strolling through- heading to work with laptop bags and lunch totes and gym bags in tow. I was still while the maddening pace continued. I chose peace amongst chaos, even though my default tendency would be to race around in circles, walking around the neighborhood until 9:00am. But sitting was what I really needed to do- even though it was hard. Even though I'd rather not be self contemplative or think about things.

I've come to learn though, keeping all these negative Nancy's bouncing around inside of me leads to not only mental and emotional turmoil, but that there are physical side effects too. Stress kills, y'all. It's toxic and debilitating.

Sitting in the park enabled me to pray, listen and center myself. It was nice, even though this serene, calmness was bookended by a chaotic, crushing subway ride and dental drilling in my mouth. But I think that is how life goes.

It's about nestling into those ten minutes of tranquility. Taking in the tulips. Sitting in the sunshine. Stopping to experience an amazing art installation: Echo. She was mesmerizing. It's about choosing joy in spite of my circumstances. Cause the waves are going to keep pounding.

Spring Gardening

A few weeks ago I volunteered at Saint Catherine's Park. The work involved cleaning leaves out of the flower beds and doing a little hedging around the entrance into the park.

I enjoyed it so much that after our church initiated "community service day" I've decided to become a regular at the park.

Yesterday was the second morning I've spent in the flower beds at the park and, while it's not planting bulbs or watering, it's really rewarding. I was there from 11-1 yesterday and the first time I stopped to look at my watch it was 12:58. Time flies when you are having fun.

Saint Catherine's Park is filled with the sounds of balls bouncing and children hollering and mom's yelling, "Winston" "Harry" "Emma." This is what I hear while toting a trash bag containing wet, soggy leaves as I dodge new bulbs and step through flower beds full of Springtime. There is new growth everywhere, and I get to be right there as it's coming up. I get to see earthworms and centipedes and things that I've come to miss for the past four years that we've been in NYC. And it's nice to go back week after week and see what has recently emerged.

Gardening puts me back in touch with nature. It's work, but I enjoy it. (And it does feel good to be sore from all the squatting and lifting and bending and reaching the next day too. A workout that doesn't feel like a workout.)

I'm not doing it to meet people or even to be involved in my community (the park is 22 blocks south of our apartment on First Avenue), but I'm doing it for free therapy! For the fragrance of daffodils, for earth under my fingernails, for time alone, for doing something so simple that maybe no one else would want to do- that's why I do it.