Breathing Room

Camille, 14 months old, November 2014 

It's 2:15pm.
My daughter JUST went down for a nap, and thus, I ran toward the computer....

It's been two months since I've written. And in that time we've moved again... (just to the other side of our duplex, but still...) It was worth it- but it was still moving. During the Thanksgiving holiday my husband built us a computer desk (no big deal, right?!) so we can utilize the Mac Mini instead of simply the Macbook and when it comes to blogging- it's gotta be the mini...

So, here I am.

Perhaps in the coming days I will tell you about our second move, or our visit to New York City, or leading worship, or Thanksgiving, or joblessness, or how my child is running me ragged. But for how, here's what you're going to get: Me.

First of all, I'm diligently trying to observe and pause and read my Advent readings and reflections at some point each day. Ideally, that would be in the morning over HOT coffee while watching the cardinals and squirrels play in the leaves in our backyard. But I have a toddler. She wakes me up at 5:30am. I get zero alone time in the mornings. And I don't drink hot coffee. Last night I read after she went down for the night.

We put our Christmas tree up while Chris was off work. It looks wonderful in our big, bay window (which is one of the many reasons we opted to move to this side of the duplex!) Camille and I have been gathering acorns and tiny pine cones and these wonderfully curious burr oak acorns. I've painted some with silver glitter and put them in a big glass jar. Additionally, since I have SPACE now, I've sewn a few Christmas buntings as well. (Evidently I should be selling all this on ETSY. $18 for some acorns painted white and strewn together with simple twine?!) Another way we are enjoying the holidays is watching the Radio City Christmas Spectacular on Instant Netflix. Camille LOVES the dancing and the singing. We don't watch TV all that often, but this is my "go to" when I need to fold laundry or finish up dinner!!

If you thought I was crunchy before, I've taken it to an entirely new level this week, though not intentionally. On Sunday a friend gave me some kiefer grains and they are currently doing their thing in a jar with some organic, whole milk on my counter. I tried a batch over night and while it smelt wonderfully fermented, like sourdough bread, it didn't thicken at all. So, this is my second batch. I fear it will not do much better...

Additionally, the frozen organic chicken carcass that I purchased from a local farm which has moved THREE times with us in the past year, is finally thawing in the refrigerator. I will make bone broth this week. (I had intentions of doing that while pregnant... it never happened!) I also bought some elderberry syrup to give to my croupy baby girl who can't seem to shake this snotty, coughing cold she has had since Thanksgiving. It's just gotten worse. Sunday night she even ran a temperature, although that could be from the molars that a starting to poke through...

Seriously, Sunday she napped for 45 minutes. Monday she napped 45 minutes. And this morning she only went down from 9:45-10:00. While she may be transitioning to one nap a day instead of two, that one nap is going to need to be at least an hour and a half, if not two hours! She wears me out. Which is why I'm finally back at my pre-preganancy weight (14 months after giving birth).  I never get to sit down. She is a demanding little girl. Right now, she wants my undivided attention. She has started throwing little fits (most recently this morning when I would not give her the manicure scissors.) And any time I complain about this, that or the other thing my mom says, "You did the same thing..." AHHHH! Karma's a bitch. She still nurses. She still wakes 2-3 times each night to nurse. She still loathes her car seat. She still cries when I leave her with her dad.  Some days I don't know if I can handle more children.

She is very sweet though. She loves chatting with people everywhere we go, smiling and engaging them in conversation. She is very curious and happy- as long as mom is within sight. She can get on and off her rocking horse and loves to climb. She understands so much and nods her head "yes" or shakes it "no" when we ask a question. Just yesterday while making my bed I was singing "Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed..." And off she went. She came back moments later holding her sock monkey. I love it when she makes connections like that. Like when Santa Clause came on the Radio City Christmas show and she went to the bookshelf and got our gnome. (close, they look a lot alike!!)

I am really enjoying yoga (when I get to go). And I'm also giving thought to becoming Holy Yoga certified (again). I shelved the idea when after the last yoga weekend I went on I discovered I was pregnant- yet had no idea at the time...

Here's to finding a little space to breathe sometime TODAY!
Cheers.

Future Parenting Expert

You guys, my child had the worst night ever last night... thus, mama and papa had the worst night ever. She's been handling the sleeping in her own bed thing all night long better and better, although Chris might disagree. But since our move about 2 1/2 weeks ago she's just been in a funk when it comes to going to bed at night. In her crib.

I'm sure she's having to adjust to a new space too. And she has a stuffy nose, cough, allergy thing right now. And her seventh and eighth teeth just popped through yesterday- and today she has a low-grade fever, but I am ready for her to be in her crib 100% of the night. No sneaking in at 3:00 or 4:00...Even if she is going to wake at night- I need my own bed.

Last night she was not having it. After sleeping from 7-9:15pm she would not go back down in her bed. Oh yes, I could rock her to sleep, but upon laying her down- heavens no. You'd have thought I was pulling her limbs off. Of course this is when Chris came home from praise team rehearsal, which made the screaming and yelling that much worse. Til 10:00pm. We were all in tears. Again. And it's been a year.

So, of course today I am trying to purchase, borrow, or download every parenting book recommended to me, in the hopes of learning how to deal with these meltdowns. I say that jokingly- sort of. I know there is only so much one can glean from a parenting book. And I know there are good books and bad books and books by those who are less than professionals on the subject.

Even though I'd like to buy all these books, our budget is pretty tight... so Camille and I just went to the local library. The Tyler, Texas library. It is still as terrible as it was ten years ago when I was in college here. Horrible. And I've wondered this before, but I'll pose the question again here: Why are libraries in the Northeast so much more cared for and updated and lovely than libraries here??

When we lived in upstate NY I truly enjoyed my library time. Some of the libraries were small and quaint. My favorite one in Glens Falls was amazing. Simply amazing. In Manhattan I often visited several of the libraries and even in Queens, but I won't even factor those into the equation, because, I know, it's New York...

The libraries in East Texas house the oldest books. I just went to the parenting section (lest I waste time searching for specific titles) and walked away with four books published before I was born. These are old books! Perhaps the newer titles never make it to the shelves and are forever on reserve and always in circulation... I don't know. But the building is smelly and the carpet is old and the people who work there are odd. Like, they haven't come out of that library since they walked in in 1989.

Anyway, I'm off to read, study, meditate and further learn how to parent this little girl well.

Seriously. If anyone can stay married to the same man, while parenting a child and no-one is killed or seriously harmed- it's nothing short of a miracle.

October, Here I Come

Another month and a half, and no word from Stefani... Sorry about that.

I'll blame it on the moving. And the one-year-old I take care of 24/7. And the fact that I just pulled out my laptop today and was able to connect to the internet after looking for my wall charger for only about ten minutes.

As much as I hate moving we sure seem to do it alot. We found a duplex in Tyler that we have been living in almost three weeks.  We enjoy the location: near Chris' current school, two parks within walking distance and pretty much centrally located in Tyler.

Camille and I go walking (you know, she in her stroller) almost every morning. We are near the Azalea district with its brick streets, huge homes and incredible landscaping- it makes for good walking. Our place is much smaller- feels like luxurious NYC to me. Cramped, but not too too cramped.  Like a $2,000 rental in Queens or Brooklyn.  Even though we are not even paying half of that here, it still seems like a lot of money when we haven't paid rent in quite some time.

I have been diligently trying to drop some weight (30 days til NYC) and have lost 15 pounds. But this week I've gotten prideful - or maybe finally went to the grocery store- and can't seem to stay on the weight loss train. The huge blueberry muffins I made yesterday for Chris' breakfasts have derailed me. That and the Halloween candy I found at Target...

Although we've taken this step, it feels very much like we are still in limbo, still transitioning and waiting for direction. Always. Maybe this is just life, or our faith, or maybe The Chambers are just too nomadic and restless to every feel settled. But we know there is more. And Chris still finds himself desperately longing for a job that he takes pleasure in.

Right now Camille is growing up right before my very eyes. She is a little sneaky girl and loves to get a laugh- what a ham! She got two baby dolls for her birthday that she cuddles and hugs often.  She can stack and unstack her stacking rings. She puts everything in- then takes everything out. She still likes dogs "pup-pup" and being outside but still loathes her car-seat and when the lady at the dry-cleaners opens the backdoor to put in the laundry. Maybe she thinks someone is coming in the car to get her... I don't know, but she looses her head when we go through the drive-thru cleaners.

Her new ($300- gulp) cars seat is supposed to arrive today. Not that she will like it any more than her current seat, as I am keeping her rear facing. For at least another year. Poor kid... This seat should stay with her five more years though, so it's an investment, and we drive a lot here in Texas, I want her safe... But, the temptation to turn her around is AWFULLY tempting. She has now added wriggling back at forth and trying to wedge her arms under the straps to her fussing in the back seat routine.  It kills me. I'm forever, "It's okay Camille." "We are almost home, Camille." "Camille, look out the window." "Camille, lets sing a song..." Exhausting.

We are now one. Twenty-one pounds. Thirty inches tall. (71% for both) and 18 1/2" noggin (80%)

Love that girl. Love teaching her about the world around her and seeing her take it all in.