Drawing to a Close

Yesterday I spent the morning and early afternoon with Lewis and his mama in Jersey City. We had a wonderful time catching up and simply being together.

We shared some wonderful goodies from Whole Foods: beets and broccoli and something called Energy Salad with peanuts, bean sprouts and raisins. Liisa was raised in Finland, where her parents still live, so her knowledge of amazing cheeses is much better than mine. We snacked on crusty breads and stinky cheese before enjoying the 50 degree weather.

We walked along the river while Lewis napped enjoying the sunshine and the last days of 2011. Before I knew it, it was already 4:00pm and I needed to head back into Manhattan.

I love my visits to Jersey, though. They make me feel rested and well and it's nice to be in the company of such wonderful people as The Mercks.

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Today is the last day of 2011. When I get off the couch from typing this post, the sun still not really quite up yet, I will trot off to the gym and crank out one last hard, sweaty workout. After lunging and pushing and pumping along to the music playing from my iPod I'll head back home.

On a somewhat unrelated topic, I think I am the only person who cries at the gym. Yesterday, pumping my legs on the stationary bike along to Tim Suel (who is one of the music ministers at this church my sisters attended during college- I think?) I got lost in the words and emotion overwhelmed me. I'm the person that mouths the lyrics while doing cardio, and on the bike I use the handle bars as drums. As if you doubted...Anyway, his songs are so powerful and the lyrics just hit me. Maybe I just needed it.

But that is not it, the day before in yoga, just sitting still was enough for me to get weepy. This is when I know I need to slow down. The instructor asked up to picture a sunset/ sunrise that we had seen at some point in the past and I thought of a time while driving through Cody, Wyoming the summer before we moved to NYC. We were traveling with the Stockhammers and the sunset was breathtaking. We pulled the car over and just sat there and watched. We opened the doors and tried to capture it with our cameras, but the photos I have do the massive, vast landscape no justice. It was a big sunset.

God talks to me at the gym. When I'm listening, I guess. When I'm singing along to Madonna's Ray of Light, probably not so much. But I do think God can speak through non-Christian music and art and books.... Just probably not Lady Gaga's Born this Way.... But Dave Matthews- YES!

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So back to TODAY-

After gyming it I have a 12:00 appointment with Coco for a haircut on 10th Street and Avenue A. I love the East Village and haven't been down there in awhile. So after my newly shaped and trimmed hairdo (no bangs guy- I just can't commit to that!), I plan on sitting at Angelica Kitchen for some delicious vegan foods and journaling. It's a simple place and I could use some simplicity today.

That is really all I have on the agenda. Oh, and I may buy some new pens though- for journaling. And maybe do a load of laundry... (I know the excitement abounds in this New Yorkers life.) No New Year's Eve parties. I will not ring in the New Year with blow horns and party hats and bottles of Champagne (although someone at work gave me a bottle as a Christmas gift...)

Chris preaches tomorrow at our church, so we'll turn in early. There is only one service and the rumor is there will be about forty people in attendance. I think there will be more. We shall see.

After church the current plan is to go ice skating at Bryant Park with the youth group. Again, we shall see.

Happy 2012. Reflect. Resolve. Renew.

XO

Stef

I could. And I will!!

I have ample time to write right now. In a office where 90% of the staff are off this week I could be sharing so many stories with you. But I've been reading and journaling and surfing the internet.

I've discovered Pinterest which is highly motivational and inspiring.

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Our Christmas Even and Christmas day were really non-traditional in that Chris and I spent the days just the two of us, together, apart from our family. We both sang in the Christmas Eve Service at our church and attended a Christmas Day service at Saint Thomas's on Fifth Avenue. Sunday morning we exchanged smallish gifts while eating a big breakfast that I made of bacon, eggs and toast. We visited the tree at Rockefeller Center,walked through Central Park and ate a late dinner out on Christmas Day. Very New York.

I've been trying to rest well and reflect as the years end draws closer. I've been seeking to be purposeful in my words and reactions and how I spend my time outside of work. Even now, as we inch closer to January 1st, I don't feel like I have to wait until midnight to get motivated to change. And motivation is not really what I'm looking for but naming those desires that remain vague most of the time.

In 2012 I could become a mother.
I could plant a garden.
I could quit my job.
I could start my own business.
I could drink more tea and less coffee.
I could climb a mountain.
I could learn how to sew.
I could move across the street, across the country, across the globe.
I could volunteer with teenage mothers.
I could read the Bible in a year.
I could admit when I'm wrong and apologize quickly.
I could stop thinking that I'm just a kid with nothing to offer.

I could embrace my curves, my accent, my love of simple things.

I could go for it.
BIG TIME.

What do you want? What do you want to see/ experience/ have/ do?
And why aren't you?

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree (whew..........)