It's been a full week. Even when I had intentions of saying something, anything, I did not. I feel like I'm settling into the calm before the storm. Because, trust me, I know it's coming.
Some things I've been thinking about lately:
Like, wondering if I'll ever have a good apple ever again. Because I'm seriously beginning to doubt it. Apples in Texas are tasteless compared to the off-the-tree, unheard of varieties I grew accustom to. Having said that, I've had some amazing cantaloupe already this season (not local, but from the Texas valley). So, there is that I guess. I've been a fruit mood; blueberries, grapefruits, watermelon. Apples- all too often fail to perform.
As of yesterday I think I finally nailed down a stroller and a car seat. And, I've narrowed in a certain brand of cloth diapers. I know you were concerned... This, in order to divert my mind from thinking about decorating a baby room. I have decided I sort of need to embrace the fact that she is coming. She will be here in four months, and I sort of need to DO some things. It helped that my sister texted me last night asking about baby shower dates and place. "Great," I thought, "we have a hostess." So, there's that whole registering thing....
Maybe it's because I'm 33 and not 23. Or maybe it's because, I'm me. But frilly, lacy dresses and pink baby bedding and monogramed EVERYTHING, do nothing for me. Not to be unappreciative, but expensive, name-branded baby things are not first on my list. My babies room doesn't have a theme. It's just a room. With an old twin bed that was my great-grandfathers. A rocking-chair that my mom rocked me in, a small chest of drawers that was my fathers.... Nothing fancy. It does need some rearranging, a crib, and some things hanging on the wall. But we'll get there.
And we've settled in with some old names for our baby girl. Traditional names. With the ten names we have we are always rearranging them some sort of way. Dorothy. Camille. Elise. Eloise. Madeline. Margaret. Jane. June. Adelaide. Abigail.
Some of the names that either one or both of us liked early on that got scratched: Victoria. Fiona. Lydia. Olivia. Eliza. Rose. Genevieve. Naming a child is hard. I don't feel like I'll really be able to give her a name until she's born. That's just me.
I'm still feeling well, besides lower back pain that won't go away, despite walking daily in a humidity so high I can feel the air envelope me like a warm tortilla. ((GASP))... I stretch, I sleep correctly. I try to get up off my butt at work every once in awhile. My chiropractor says it's too early to be pregnancy back pain. Thanks... Next week is my 24 week appointment with my midwife, so I'll see if she has any insight.
It's so humid and hot a the real feel outside is closer to 97 degrees than the 87 degrees that it actually is. So, doubt I'll be doing much of anything this weekend besides eating sorbet and dreaming of floating in a swimming pool. It's First Monday time (already)... And it's Fiddler's Reunion in the town I grew up in. Both are outside events that mean more sweat underneath my boobs than I'd like. Did I really miss this heat? What was I thinking??
Friday, May 31, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Holiday Weekend
Memorial Day weekend. No plans. On Facebook I read about everyone else's plans: that's depressing. In NYC many folks head out of town early Friday and return late Monday night, which leaves the city to us less fortunate folks. It's a quiet weekend- parks are less crowded and the weather is finally warm. It's really the calm before the storm thought: summer tourist arrive June 1st and take over.
Here, in Texas, it's all lakes and boating and water skiing and pools opening for the season. I'm not really a laker or a boater or a "let me get in my swimsuit and layout by the pool all day" sort of person. So summer pretty much sucks. Oh, that's right it's summer eight months out of the year here.
We have no real weekend plans, and let's be honest, since Chris' full-time job right now is job searching, every day feels like the weekend. I get it, I've lived it. We will spend time with family, his and mine. Possibly visit friends in Tyler. Maybe go to brunch. Trip to the farmers market? Softball playoff game?
I bought some more books on Amazon: Hypnobirthing and A Mother's Heart. Seriously, all I do is read. Although, last night after reading, and playing fetch with Bella, and making some really good guacamole and a Mexican inspired bean salad, I made a pallet on the floor and watched one of those great Instant Netflix movies: Margin Call. Actually it wasn't so bad. And it was nice to get out of our How I Met Your Mother and Rules of Engagement rut. Although, we like those shows.... Of course there's always Cheers, Frazier and my new favorite, Call the Midwife. I did get into Ally McBeal one summer in NYC when Chris was gone for weeks. It was sort of weird watching something that came out when I was in high school, but I didn't know it existed then.
Hopefully, it won't be so hot that I'll be stuck indoors reading and watching TV all Memorial Day weekend. Summers in unofficially here, let the dog days begin.
Here, in Texas, it's all lakes and boating and water skiing and pools opening for the season. I'm not really a laker or a boater or a "let me get in my swimsuit and layout by the pool all day" sort of person. So summer pretty much sucks. Oh, that's right it's summer eight months out of the year here.
We have no real weekend plans, and let's be honest, since Chris' full-time job right now is job searching, every day feels like the weekend. I get it, I've lived it. We will spend time with family, his and mine. Possibly visit friends in Tyler. Maybe go to brunch. Trip to the farmers market? Softball playoff game?
I bought some more books on Amazon: Hypnobirthing and A Mother's Heart. Seriously, all I do is read. Although, last night after reading, and playing fetch with Bella, and making some really good guacamole and a Mexican inspired bean salad, I made a pallet on the floor and watched one of those great Instant Netflix movies: Margin Call. Actually it wasn't so bad. And it was nice to get out of our How I Met Your Mother and Rules of Engagement rut. Although, we like those shows.... Of course there's always Cheers, Frazier and my new favorite, Call the Midwife. I did get into Ally McBeal one summer in NYC when Chris was gone for weeks. It was sort of weird watching something that came out when I was in high school, but I didn't know it existed then.
Hopefully, it won't be so hot that I'll be stuck indoors reading and watching TV all Memorial Day weekend. Summers in unofficially here, let the dog days begin.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
All Over the Place
While contemplating what in the world is newsworthy enough to share with anyone this week, I've decided to share a couple of excerpts from two books I'm currently reading, BUT FIRST:
Friday night I decided to delve into an experiment on duct tape and wart removal. I have a wart on my finger. First it was a blister that I didn't take care of properly from a hot oven. Then, a wart. After three trips to the dermatologist it's still there. And vicious. I really don't want my baby girl to see me with warts. So, following the advise and expertise of my sixteen-year-old brother, I'm trying to remove my wart with duct tape. Hot pink duct tape. After a friend at church commented on my big silver finger last night, she kindly directed me to the Dollar General where they "sell all sorts of colors and even zebra print duct tape." $3.50. Cheaper than my co-pay at a dermatologist (if I had insurance right now). That's me: pregnant and uninsured. Nightmare. God Bless!
The only other thing new in my world is left hip/ back pain. I hear it gets worse. And I'm doing chiropractor treatments when I can $. And I go walking before work, but the 70 degree low for the day (mixed with the humidity and pelting sun) is already really sort of warm. Or maybe it's just me. And there are all those stretches and yoga poses that are supposed to help....
I know we were under a tornado watch Tuesday night, but I decided it would be an ideal time to pain my toes one last time. I even announced to Chris that this would be the last time for the next four months that I paint my own toes. And lets be honest, since I'll be wearing flip-flops seven days a week, and crushing my toesies with an extra blah-blah pounds by July. I'll pay someone to do all that business for me.
....
From Birthing Normally by Michel Odent MD ( a borrowed book from my midwife)
"The majority of women seeking natural births in the United States today are already well aware of the emotional and spiritual aspects of such an experience. However, few give the physical experience of birth the attention it deserves. Without the body experience, birth becomes an unnatural or anesthetized experience. For this reason, integration of the physical into the psycho-emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth should be emphasized.
Being able to feel ourselves as sexual, as connected to our bodies and to feel ourselves as physical strength in the form of muscle and bone, creates in us a sense of trust in our bodies. One goal is to develop within the pregnant woman a sense of trust in her body and to deepen the trust she already has. She will then be able to believe in her body process as labor unfolds rather than be frightened or alienated from it."
From Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle. (Fast read. Funny. When I read books like this, I think, I could write a book. Then I wonder if I really want to write a book....)
"I think it's important for you to know that there was a time in my life when I seriously considered adopting any potential children I might have. Not out of any sense of compassionate obligation, but because I thought the best method of childbirth might be to completely skip the whole birth part of that equation and go straight to the precious little bundle wrapped up like a burrito.
There are women who want to experience natural childbirth, but those are probably the same women who run marathons. I am not one of those women. I believe in the miracles of modern medicine, and that includes epidurals. Which is why one of the first questions I asked my doctor upon finding out I was pregnant was "How soon can I get the meds?" When he encouraged me to write an official birth plan, mine was a single piece of paper with "EPIDURAL!!!!!!" scrawled in large letters with a sharpie pen.
Honestly I longed for the good old days my grandmother told me about when a woman would go into the hospital to have a and wake up two days later with memories of vague hallucinations and a child in her arms. But apparently that option is not longer available, thanks to the marvel of medical advances."
.....
So, that's that.
....
I promise my next post will be a little bit more put together. Cohesive. Well prepared.
Maybe.
Friday night I decided to delve into an experiment on duct tape and wart removal. I have a wart on my finger. First it was a blister that I didn't take care of properly from a hot oven. Then, a wart. After three trips to the dermatologist it's still there. And vicious. I really don't want my baby girl to see me with warts. So, following the advise and expertise of my sixteen-year-old brother, I'm trying to remove my wart with duct tape. Hot pink duct tape. After a friend at church commented on my big silver finger last night, she kindly directed me to the Dollar General where they "sell all sorts of colors and even zebra print duct tape." $3.50. Cheaper than my co-pay at a dermatologist (if I had insurance right now). That's me: pregnant and uninsured. Nightmare. God Bless!
The only other thing new in my world is left hip/ back pain. I hear it gets worse. And I'm doing chiropractor treatments when I can $. And I go walking before work, but the 70 degree low for the day (mixed with the humidity and pelting sun) is already really sort of warm. Or maybe it's just me. And there are all those stretches and yoga poses that are supposed to help....
I know we were under a tornado watch Tuesday night, but I decided it would be an ideal time to pain my toes one last time. I even announced to Chris that this would be the last time for the next four months that I paint my own toes. And lets be honest, since I'll be wearing flip-flops seven days a week, and crushing my toesies with an extra blah-blah pounds by July. I'll pay someone to do all that business for me.
....
From Birthing Normally by Michel Odent MD ( a borrowed book from my midwife)
"The majority of women seeking natural births in the United States today are already well aware of the emotional and spiritual aspects of such an experience. However, few give the physical experience of birth the attention it deserves. Without the body experience, birth becomes an unnatural or anesthetized experience. For this reason, integration of the physical into the psycho-emotional aspects of pregnancy and birth should be emphasized.
Being able to feel ourselves as sexual, as connected to our bodies and to feel ourselves as physical strength in the form of muscle and bone, creates in us a sense of trust in our bodies. One goal is to develop within the pregnant woman a sense of trust in her body and to deepen the trust she already has. She will then be able to believe in her body process as labor unfolds rather than be frightened or alienated from it."
From Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle. (Fast read. Funny. When I read books like this, I think, I could write a book. Then I wonder if I really want to write a book....)
"I think it's important for you to know that there was a time in my life when I seriously considered adopting any potential children I might have. Not out of any sense of compassionate obligation, but because I thought the best method of childbirth might be to completely skip the whole birth part of that equation and go straight to the precious little bundle wrapped up like a burrito.
There are women who want to experience natural childbirth, but those are probably the same women who run marathons. I am not one of those women. I believe in the miracles of modern medicine, and that includes epidurals. Which is why one of the first questions I asked my doctor upon finding out I was pregnant was "How soon can I get the meds?" When he encouraged me to write an official birth plan, mine was a single piece of paper with "EPIDURAL!!!!!!" scrawled in large letters with a sharpie pen.
Honestly I longed for the good old days my grandmother told me about when a woman would go into the hospital to have a and wake up two days later with memories of vague hallucinations and a child in her arms. But apparently that option is not longer available, thanks to the marvel of medical advances."
.....
So, that's that.
....
I promise my next post will be a little bit more put together. Cohesive. Well prepared.
Maybe.
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