Centering

I realize I never completed my summary of my meditation/ prayer retreat so I'll start there:

The number one thing that I walked away with was that I have to carve out time in my day/ week/ life to just Be. Internal rejuvenation and care is more just as, if not MORE important that external maintenance. I'm trying to give myself more grace and just be present.

God can meet us in the present. In worry or fear of the past or future: peace is not going to be found. When I'm present making decisions is easier: Do I want to go to yoga or to the chiropractor or to the grocery store? Do I want a beef burger for dinner, an apple and cottage cheese or just a big bowl of frozen yogurt? When I'm present, in the moment, really living, I recognize what my body, mind and spirit are needing.

And somehow this entire meditation process really helps me know myself more. Through experiencing the healing and restorative presence of God- I just feel better. I slow down I think clearly and I'm not an anxious-presence. I don't worry if a guest comes over expectantly, or if there's clutter in the windowsill, or if we still don't have pictures hung on the wall.

It's odd how even after 31 years I'm still learning who I am. Or perhaps the opposite is true, I've always been Me, but been trying to conform, cover and complicate things since eight years old. As infants and very small children we have nothing but the present. The moment we're in is what we live for, it's all we know. So I'm coming back to simplicity, to today.

For me, it's so much easier to reflect and sit and have these wonderful amazing revelations out in the country. OUT... away. So, I'm going to purposefully get the hellouttahere from time to time. Manhattan has it's own pace, tempo, demands, sounds; One needs a cleansing in order to maintain equilibrium. I will be heading for the hill a little more often than I have, to find peace within and be reminded everything will be okay.

And meditation, it's not that scary. Listening to God & for Him and waiting instead of assuming and talking and trying to convince God to join in what I have planned and what I want to do- it's much better. Things change and life's a little easier and makes a little more sense.

I'm noticing areas in my life where I'm surrendering. I'm feeling better. I'm submitting and falling into his purpose, even without knowing how it will all work out.

I find Hebrews 10 so exciting and so hopeful:

³⁴ For you sympathized with the prisoners and accepted with joy the confiscation of your possessions, knowing that you yourselves have a better and enduring possession. ³⁵ So don't throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. ³⁶ For you need endurance, so that after you have done God's will, you may receive what was promised.