The following are things that you may/ may not know about that person who answers the phone at your doctors office, law firm, CPA, sports club, finance advisers office.
1. We are the Gate Keepers. It really is the only thing we can control, so it's a pretty sweet gig.
2. Being the Gate Keeper means that we lie, alot. In any given day when I say over the phone, "He's not available" or "She's away from her desk" 50% of the time the employee has just told me, ---"No, no I don't want to take that call. Put it into my voicemail." The worst is when the caller figures this out and asks that I connect them to the employees cell phone. This requires more "pretending" where I act like I'm dialing the cell. Then announce, "I'm sorry I'm getting his voicemail on his cell phone as well." There's alot of acting involved in this job.
3. Don't call the receptionist Sweetie, Sugar, Dear. These are not appropriate. Ever.
4. Flattery will only get you so far. When you ask the receptionist, "How are you doing, today?" we assume you are a telemarketer, cold caller, or someone desperate for work or a job. Unless you are someone who calls daily, someone I've become chummy with- I immediately go into wrap this call up ASAP mode.
5. The Reception Desk is not the complaint desk. It is not our fault the copier continues to jam. We do not order the bad coffee. I can not help it if the temperature on your half of the floor is too hot or if your sandwich tray for your meeting arrives at 12:14 instead of 12:00 sharp. We are not to blame for the Internet not working, for your phone consistently dropping calls or the construction that may be going on on the floor above ours.
6. A Receptionist is not a Psychologist.
7. We don't have a paging system. This is not Wal-Mart or Pep Boys or a supermarket. Perhaps we will get off our toosh and walk around the office to see if the party you are looking for is actually at his/ her desk, if you are pleasant. Additionally, if the person is not at his/ her desk DO NOT ask their whereabouts, because it is unknown. Further, if the person does not answer at their extension when we are trying to transfer a call we do not know why. They could be on another call, in the restroom, getting more coffee, or simply not answering their phone.8. Speaker phone is annoying. People who regularly use speaker phone come across arrogant and too important to be bothered to pick up the receiver. And just so you know, when you call on speaker phone the first syllable of most words you speak are dropped. Therefore, "Good afternoon. May I speak to Christopher Miller? This is Brandon Thompson," may sound alot like "Od afternoon. I eak to Christoper Iller? Is Andon Ompson." This is why we ask you "I'm sorry, who are you looking for?" and "What is your name again?" We can't understand you. PICK UP THE PHONE.
9. The reception desk is not a Communal desk. It is not Everyman's desk. You can not rummage through drawers or files at your discretion or advise on where things should be kept. Yes, we will help you, yes the reception area is a common area, but the reception desk is the receptionist's desk and your office/ desk/ cubicle is yours. If you do rummage you may find gum, straws, cough drops, the directory of everyone in the church choir, pricey organic teas, or emergency items. Emergency items include: band-aids, Advil, back up pair of pantyhose, tampons, dark chocolate, and deodorant.
10. People tell us stuff. We see stuff. We hear stuff. And we sort of see ourselves as the office mother. Do not take advantage. We like our down time- it's why we do what we do. We enjoy the time we have to paint our nails, do SUDOKU, update our blogs, shop online, write scripts, and watch YouTube videos of dancing troops - all the while trying to maintain the peace. "Good morning" and "Have a good afternoon" roll much easier off the tongue when we actually like where we work.
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