Morning

"Let me experience Your faithful LOVE in the morning, for I trust in You.  Reveal to me the way I should go, because I long for You." Psalm 143:8

It comes every day.  Inevitable still. Chris shuts the front door sometime between 7:15 AM and 7:45 AM.  And then it's me.  Just me.  Me and nothing.  Me and everything.  The ice shifts and crackles in the freezer.  A siren blares thirty-two stories below.  The elevator chimes in the hallway.  "God," I pray. "Thank you for another day.  For windows so I experience sunshine.  For my amazing husband.  For placing us in New York City for such a time as this."

Sometimes I feel like my prayers get no higher than the ceiling.  But, He's with me even when I don't feel it.  Even when I am alone in the big city.

An hour at the gym downstairs pushes it down, contains it, but only for awhile.  I shower.  Again I feel it.  Kathie Lee and Hoda cackle and act ridiculous.  Is this what we've come to America?  I turn off the TV. I fill my coffee cup again.  It's now 10:00 AM.

I need this.  I need to feel the feelings, I need to remember.  Submerge myself in all that I'm avoiding.  Sometimes He's not in the thunder or winds or earthquakes, but in the still small voice that can only be heard when we are silent.