Rest

So the 13.1 is behind me and now I am resting & taking time to heal, even though it's quite difficult for me. Resting. Ahhhh

Somewhere between miles 2 and 3 I realized I would not be able to continue to run my 1/2 marathon. I would not be able to run my 10 minute miles or complete the race with my running buddies. Not because I was out of breath, overheated, exhausted, or had side stitches, NO--- but because I somehow pulled some tiny groin muscle two weeks ago and was in so much pain- even when walking. So, I walk/ jogged it. With Chris beside me.
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I tried to get him to go on ahead. To run. To do what he had intended to do for the past three months. But he wouldn't leave my side. He finally said to me, with stern love, "Stefani. It is not your choice whether or not I care about you. It is not up to you if I want to make sure you are okay." That is when I got it.

And it reminded me- even in that moment- of God's love for us. As our pastor put it Easter Sunday morning, our value and self worth are not up for debate. He loves us. He sent His only son to die for us. Period. So, I might as well humble myself, accept his grace and quit trying to be perfect. Grace feels much better when I decide to fall into it.

I love my support team and being able to be honest with them, about how I was bitter, cried, prayed, struggled with God and then just did what I had to do to get across that finish line. Chris looked at me and said mid-race, "I know the bigger struggle is going on in your mind right now. Walking this is so much harder for you than running it." And he was right. Maybe that's why- I've been forced into a season of rest.

Post race celebrations and festivities were great: bagels, cake, and pictures with our teammates. Back at home we rested, spent time in the hot tub, ordered dinner out and CRASHED around 8:30. I prayed I would be mobile for Sunday morning's 7:45 call- Easter Sunday Worship!!

And Sunday I felt fine. Well, not worse, but the same dull ache and tenderness that I've been experiencing for two weeks now. I wore my 3" BCBG heels, new sundress and jumped up and down singing on the praise team. (Wearing heels isn't so bad, they propel my weight forward so my haunches actually get a break. It's just on impact- walking, running- when my muscles scream at me.)

Sunday was a great time of celebration. This is worth getting EXCITED about. Jesus rose from the dead. It's not a metaphor or a hopeful wish-- it is the crux of our very faith.

After church (and singing and jumping and celebrating) Chris and I stopped and got snacky/ sandwich-y/ fruit-y type things and ate in Central Park while people watching. And there were people out in droves: tourists, New Yorkers & those in their Easter finest. (Which was a little short and a little tight with the weather in the 70's. Summer legs are out in the Spring!) We walked home (I switched shoes, yes.) and shared our first Mr. Softee of the season.

And because I hadn't had enough park, or outside, I grabbed my magazines and headed to Carl Shurz Park on the East River. The cherry blossom trees were not blooming there yet, but it was nice to sit on a park bench by the water and read. On my way home I stopped in the Health Food Store (which always brings joy to my day) and bought this for dinner. Mmmmmm. Sounds yummy, no? Actually I tried it last night and it was quite delicious. Perhaps not raw, or un-processed, but it's organic.. doesn't that count for something?

I'm still making a conscious effort to avoid sugary things and processed white/ bready things, when at all possible. All this in an effort to not feed the ugly bacteria and yeasties that live in my gut. Although, I did have some Pirate's Booty today in my lunch- which I tried for the very first time this summer. In an effort to help me with this, Chris ate all the Easter Candy in our house yesterday. He's off work until tomorrow on his Spring Break. After being home for this limited amount of time, he's looking for something to keep him busy this summer: a job, a hobby, an experience that doesn't cost as much as a motorcycle would.

Tomorrow night I'll be with my singing friends having enchilada's and wine in a NYC apartment. It is so nice to meet friends in their homes, but in NYC it is a difficult thing to do. No one has the space or the time to prepare anything, so this is a real treat. And Friday night, the Chambers' are hosting in our apartment. I'm still unsure of the menu but I've considered a pot roast (prepared in the crockpot), a vegetable, spinach and bean casserole thing (it's pretty good- with ricotta and corn tortillas) or build your own taco/ fajitas. I even thought about breakfast casserole- for dinner- could be fun. With biscuits- you know...

In other random, blog, news- I won FREE vegan chocolate just by entering one of those silly email contents from a daily email newsletter I receive. It sort of made my day. And I was pretty consistent, entering every day in March. Because I'm a nerd like that- and desperately wanted to win something.

These first few weeks of Spring will be time to re-focus and rest. Until April 18th- when I'm signed up to run a 5k.