Thursday, August 19, 2010

Content

This morning on my walk to the train the doormen and landlords were out watering the sidewalks. The temperature in the low seventies, the breeze blowing bits of water onto my bare legs as I stepped cautiously over the green garden hoses. It's necessary to wash all that dog "mess" off the sidewalks daily. Hot dog urine combined with garbage juices which have leaked out of their black Glad bags make for a stomach churning scent when heated to 90 degrees. Hello, welcome to Summer in the City.

Outside the Duane Reade there was a dog tied to the parking meter with a blue cable. A eight- ten foot blue cable that looks like something I'd see behind our TV/ sound system/ Cable box. I kind of wanted to stick around to see what kind of person would tie a cable cord around a dogs neck and leave it on the sidewalk. So weird-- and I wonder what are the circumstances that brought about this decision? Is this someone's pet or did they just find the dog? I do wonder all these things- in about two seconds.

I also saw a guy riding his motorcycle up First Avenue wearing his tie and dress slacks. It made me think of Chris, even though he doesn't have a motorcycle anymore- but I know it would make him happy. And it made me think of all those days in Texas when he would ride his bike to work- in his tie and dress slacks. Not that he's not loving life right now, camping at Cape Hatteras, but riding a motorcycle for him is like Yoga is for me: a way to calm, connect, reflect and be alone.

I sent him this photo yesterday of "where we live" so he "wouldn't forget." After receiving pictures of what he's seeing/ doing, I thought I'd just return the favor. I do wish I could experience one wave or one sunrise or one quesadilla cooked over the open flame in a Cast Iron Skillet with him. I know I couldn't and wouldn't want to be there, living like he his, but I'd love to be free for awhile. Right now, I'm trying to do that mentally, physically, and spiritually. I'm proud of his desire to wander- and it reminds me that it's never too late to do or try or be what you want to. It's never too late to recognize and admit that unsettledness inside. Contentedness is colored gray- desirable in some areas of life and devastating in others.

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