Quiet

On Sunday our pastor gave us...

"The Tongue Challenge"

1. Do not complain or grumble.

2. Do not boast about anything at all.

3. Do not gossip or repeat bad information about somebody else.

4. Do not run somebody down (even a little bit).

5. Do no defend or make excuses for yourself, no matter what.

6. Do always affirm other people.

You guys, it has been extremely quiet at the reception area, as Heidi and I evaluate how we spend our days, and think on what we normally talk about. It's convicting to say the least and we've posted the bulleted list in front of our computer monitors.

For the past few weeks I've been meditating on the verse, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." And, my Yogi tea bag yesterday stated "If your word does not reflect your spirit and your honor, do not speak." Although, very yogi-ish, I think that biting my tongue and not just ya-ya-ing on and on and on is probably wise alot of the time. And now this tongue challenge.

I grumble. I complain. I can tell you what's wrong with everyone else. My choir instructor in Jr. High - who I adore and thank to this day for my love of music- bought me a huge poster that looked like this: NO WHINING!

And I've become very good at calling it being snarky, or just being honest, or finding a hilarious punchline in there and probably bashing someone nonetheless.

In the house I grew up in we could not be sarcastic. We could not say whatever we wanted and then throw in at the end, "I was just kidding!" These are things my sisters and I would not get away with saying to one another:

Besides the fact that that purple two-piece makes you look like a cow, I'd buy it. Just kidding.

I think that your painting is pretty. Pretty Ugly. Just kidding.

I'd never let you borrow my top. You will stretch it out because you're so big. Just kidding.

My mom would always say, "out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" and that behind every joke, jab, and condescending remark made at someone else's expense there was a bit of truth. Therefore, sarcasm was not tolerated.

I think this is why it's taken me five years of marriage to get my husband. To wait after he talks, literally counting "one, one-thousand, two, one-thousand, three, one-thousand" after a comment that I quite don't understand. Fifty percent of what he says to me is sarcasm. Not that it's bad, just different. It's his way of being silly and flirting- so I've thickened my skin and gotten better about not draping my emotions across my shoulders like a shawl. They do not keep me warm, they do not protect me and they don't make me feel secure whatsoever.

Words. Words. Woooooooords.