Too Much Pressure

Last night I woke up with a headache. Or, my headache woke me up. About midnight. I felt like Mr. Potato-head, with that drawer in the back. I thought my head was just going to unhinge right there on my pillow, dumping out all the gray matter that makes up my brain, my life. Unlike the extra ears and eyes and noses for Mr. Potato-head, I need these parts in tact at all times; they are not extras. The pressure on my top vertebrae was going to pop my spine open like a zipper. The way the metal teeth on my jeans zipper readily release after too much pasta and wine. All that is stuffed inside just wants out, wants to breathe, is bursting out to touch the air. That was how much pressure I felt.

I got up and washed down three generic ibuprofen with some water. I unwrapped a Ricola to sooth my scratchy throat. Chris sat silently at the computer desk, his face illuminated by the glaring white electricity.

After I laid back down I continued to be restless. My arms getting tangled up with my torso- this is a new problem I have; one arm is continuously asleep. I slept with the cough drop in my mouth. I don't care if this is dangerous, I have done this since I was young. I hate cough-drops, but my throat was tender from too much changing-of-the-season. When I woke up, hours later, I spit it out. Disgusting? Whatever, it's what I do.

My shoulders remained tense and continuously crept up toward my earlobes, drawn by some magnetic force up, up, up. Like those really powerful magnets we got for Christmas one year, that my mom only let us play with from time to time. We had to keep them away from the TV, our Fisher Price tape recorder and our Swatch watches. The force so strong I don't even realize it. I'm rigid and stuck without any flexibility whatsoever. Unknowingly, never relaxing- shoulders to earlobes- even lying in bed, trying to sleep.

Suddenly, I'm having a problem sleeping with my limbs and knees. I'm drooling and I don't drool. My right arm doesn't wake up until four or five hours after I do. I dig my nails into my palms and my calf muscles tense up and refuse to lay flat on their designated spots, allowing my toes to point directly at the ceiling. Even my normal fetal position half-moon-curl on my left side is no longer comfy. Chris and I switched sides of the bed a couple nights ago. I read this is good for your back (or did my chiropractor suggest it once?), anyway, it hasn't helped yet.