Happy Birthday Explosion

When I went to bed on March 22nd it was raining. Lightning. Thundering. Lightning and Thunder hardly ever happen here, in the city.
Yesterday I went to the dentist. I had a cavity.
And Saturday I saw my first gray hair, right at my temple, about 2 inches long. (I'm very serious.)

I may have a yeast infection. Another one. Again. I don' t know, something just doesn't seem right- I will go to the doctor if necessary and not self diagnose. But, I know my body and I HATE the conversations & medications. The doctor trying to tell me why this happens- chronically, and me knowing that I don't do anything to cause this. That this- this is not my fault. I am healthy, I eat yogurt and take acidophilus three times a day. I avoid processed sugar (for the most part... of course there are those Girl Scout Cookies in my freezer and I do love Good and Plenty.) But trust me, I've been through the checklists; I've eliminated things from my diet, changed things, added things, been to endocrinologist, urologist, gynecologist: I'm tired of dealing with this. Really really tired. I want to be as healthy as I feel I should be.

Additionally, at 10:30 this morning I got a huge hole/ runner in my sheer, black pantyhose. I've never gotten a runner in my hosiery while at work. Not that I can remember. So, I headed down to Rite-Aid to see what they had to offer me in their selection of hose that come in an egg. (I bought two pairs just in case.)

And I haven't run since my 10 miles on Saturday. I think I pulled my groin. Or something. And Chris "read an article" (God help!) that said you should "take three days off from running when you feel any serious pain." My pain isn't THAT serious. But, what's serious? Serious to me is when you need a doctor, or crutches or surgery. So, I've been walking, biking and doing the elliptical machine- interspersed with lots of stretching. This morning after I climbed on the elliptical machine and typed in my weight (if that weren't rough enough facing first thing in the morning...) I pressed 3-0 for age. However, going up in age is much easier than going up in weight.

I took my Real Age test this morning. Only because they sent me a Happy Birthday e-mail that prompted me to. I subscribe to their weekly newsletter/ email. My real age is 20. So I guess that's good. After answering the questionnaire it suggested that I manage stress better and get a dog. (Because dogs help manage stress?)

Seriously, these minor bumps today are a HUGE test for me not to get upset, cry, or be angry about things that I can not control. I am choosing to live freely today. To not be perfect. Pefect is annoying to others and a total turn-off. I'm chosing to rise above my circumstances and the things in life that happen. God still has me in his hands.

"Are you not worth more than these." The birds of the air and the flowers of the field.

I cried for all of one minute this morning. Then I chose to vent to my sister in a text message and started singing. There was no way I could get my eye make-up on with those tears and all that drama. God must just laugh at me sometimes.

AND I know, I KNOW, that there are people, Christians who love and serve the same God as I do, with real issues. People in marriages who wonder if they'll celebrate another anniversary, people with unwanted pregnancies, people who feel like God has forgotten them. And they know God has not really forgotten them, but so often it feels true. Because they are still jobless, they are still looking for Mr. Right and they still wonder if they totally missed God's calling on their life. Are they in the right profession, the right city, the right church, the right relationship?

But I think God isn't really concerned with all of that. I mean, he IS concerned. BUT, more importantly He wants us. He wants time with us, daily. He just wants us to realize that so much that we focus on, day in and day out, doesn't matter.

We follow a God we don't understand, a God larger than we can imagine, a God that requires that we trust him. PERIOD. For God so loved the world, that he gave. He Gave. He gave His only son. So, how can I think that I am not worth anything, not loved? He Gave His Son, and we are called to do the same, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, body and strength & Love your neighbor as yourself.

How much am I giving? Ten percent? Two hours on Sunday? One Saturday a quarter? I don't think that is what God is talking about. Giving away an extra bedroom, an extra paycheck, an extra vehicle? We have so much extra.

Today, I am counting all the emails, texts, cards, packages and Facebook notes instead of gray hairs and spider veins.

I am thankful for a new dress that makes me feel beautiful.

I am thankful my husband shaved and wore cuff-links just for me today.

I know I am loved. I know that my days/ time/ how I spend my life matters.

Even when I get a run in my hosiery.

(This pictures is old. My co-workers "decorated" my office in Tyler. I was a little less than happy.)