Nine Ladies Dancing

There were only six of us, and we were not dancing, but yesterday I got together with some sweet ladies to celebrate a birthday.

We met for brunch at 2:00pm at a place called The Sunburnt Calf on the Upper West Side. Brunch is a big-time-Saturday-deal in NYC. It's a big time deal at this specific place because for just $18 one can get a huge plate of pancakes, an omelet, a burger and fries and drink as many bloody Mary's as they would like- in two hours. I personally think 2:00 is more like a late lunch (trust me--- I ate breakfast way earlier in the day) but that was the earliest reservation available. Brunch implies a meal between breakfast and lunch.... but whatever. Most NYC restaurants serve "brunch" between 11-4.... , so maybe I'm the only person that this bothers.

We celebrated the 34 years of our sweet friend Jen, who in the last year has transformed in so many ways. Most obviously is that fact that she's lost 50 pounds and shared with many of us her journey along the way. She's had difficult conversations with family members she'd never thought she could have. She went back to college, took a different position at her job, and got a tattoo. And it's a beautiful tattoo--- not that I'm biased or anything. She actually sat with me during my last massive inking and decided to get a tattoo at that point. So she did---- by my tattoo artist, that very week.

Jen has learned how to feed her body, listen for when it says she's hungry and when she's not. She's learned that food can not fix sadness or loneliness or just sheer boredom. She ran her firt 5k in her 33rd year and bought the smallest pants size she's ever worn. And along this road, she's encouraged and inspired and been brutally honest and completely vulnerable. Emailing prayer requested, asking for accountability, working really hard to climb out of the heaviness and self-loathing that years of lies and bullying and fear can bring.

...

For two hours we talked, ate some wonderful foods and celebrated together. At 4:00pm when we parted ways on 79th Street and Broadway I was grateful that I can call this amazing person friend. That she's living it out, and not just talking it, but BEing it.

At 4:00 darkness was minutes away and the coldness was creeping up my tights. I just wore a pea-coat and left the pouffy, sleepingbag monster at home- but decided right then and there that heavy coat weather had arrived.

I like the Upper West side, and I'd have liked to wander a little more that I did, but I simply made a trip to Zabars with Liisa, while Jen and another gal headed to H&M to look for a Christmas Eve outfit. I bought some kitchen gadgets and a few food items: good olive oil, raw honey, imported cheese and some Borscht soup for dinner.

And that's okay. It's what I wanted to do.

Being in your 30's you realize that you spent most of your 20's trying to figure out who you were, what you wanted and how to be liked. In my 30's I've figured out who I am (somewhat), what I want, and that being like by everyone all the time is simply impossible. People will like me (my true friends anyway) when I am Who I Am.